20 Reasons Why I hate José Mourinho

1. The following sentence is perhaps the most cringe worthy opening PR gambit a manager has ever come out with. "Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one," In some parallel dimension the media would have dubbed him "the arrogant one." I wish I lived there instead of here.


2. His shushing of Liverpool fans in the 2005 League Cup Final, no José we will never shut up.


3. He never laid the Smack down on Shane McMahon.

If Mourinho had jumped over the rails, thrown McMahon into the corner and performed the Drogba Dive on him it would have been the best piece of TV ever. However he just sat there and took it...


4. After a Champions League match against Barcelona Mourinho claimed Anders Frisk was in cahoots with Barcelona resulting in Frisks family getting death threats and causing Frisk to retire.


5. His attraction to odious players such as Ashley Cole, John Terry and Goran Pandev.


6. José Mourinho is an eye gouger:

Wow, if its not enough that he went for the eyes he attacked Tito Vilanova from behind.


7. After years of defending Didier Drogba's diving while he managed Chelsea he came up with this gem when he was managing Inter Milan, "I am no longer Chelsea coach and I do not have to defend them any more, so I think it is correct if I say Drogba is a diver." Well that's "two faced" added to his list of characteristics.


8. At Inter some of his comments had to be heard including his "Zeru Tituli" rant.The phrase that now dons thousands of t-shirts around Milan. This was an attempt to goad his rival coaches' lack of silverware and slam what he called their “intellectual prostitution” in the media.


9. The 2010 Uefa Champions League Final which saw Inter Milan kill the match in order to win.


10. His pathetic attempts to downplay Chelsea's chances of winning the league over recent. Seriously José, this is how it works: if I put a tenner on a team to win the league the team that nets me the lowest profit is the favourite. Got it? Good...


11. Wining the Champions League is a unique moment, I expect anyone whose won it feels a level of bliss and joy. Rather than sharing an emotional moment with the fans José headed straight for the ITV interview camera and started pimping himself for future jobs.


12. He inspired Chris Moyles to produce one of the worst parody songs of all time:

Its certainly no "Will Mellor."


13. No 13 due to Tory cutbacks and being grateful for teaching Brendan Rogers everything he knows.


14. Inspiring this:

Stop the world I want to get off...


15. His treatment of Juan Mata, why would you ship him out? José walks back into Chelsea to find a menagerie of new players and he doesn't play him then transfers him. Seriously this is a player who actually made Chelsea look good the past two season.


16. The fact he has developed a following outside of football, people I know who don't follow football or even support a team have started taking an interest in teams just because José Mourinho is managing them. I was once at a female friends house who turned the TV on after a match just so she could watch his interview.


17. His smugness, I'm not pinpointing this down to one incident as its like his aura is composed of self lust. His self indignation when a decision goes against his team. The fact that he's so jammy when being interviewed yet when he's been beat he doesn't want to come out and perform for us as seen in the recent Villa match.


18. His style of play, he stopped Madrid being sexy, his Inter team made my eyes bleed and even when his teams get a high scoring victory I find myself nodding off.


19. "Parking the bus" yes the most loathed of all the football match descriptions, when a team pack the midfield and defence in an attempt to strangle the game and get away with a 0-0 draw. Who coined the phrase? José Mourinho...


20. The media's obsession in him, I rarely read papers these days or watch TV analysis, one of these reasons is the obsession over personalities and in particular managers. Seriously, from a match report I want to read how a team played and not get an attempt by a journalist to do some cod psychology on anything José came out with in a pre-match interview. When I turn on a match all I want from the pre-match build up is to know whose playing and what formations. I don't want to know "what José is thinking" or Jamie Redknapps opinion on what José will say after the match. Plus after the match give me some highlights of the goals, show me some of these "exciting new angles" not close ups of a manager stood beside the pitch as the goal goes in. Don't give me all that "he gives us something to talk about" crap, quite frankly I'd rather talk about the game.