Tuesday, 27 December 2016

Royal Rumble: The Top 10 Eliminations

Good afternoon lady and gentle readers, as I type this the time is currently quarter to January and as is traditional at this time of year its time to send off the old year and welcome in the new one. In the WWE's case this is done by holding the Royal Rumble event with its centre piece being the 30 man Royal Rumble match.

As with most things this time of year the Royal Rumble match is a time for surprises, excitement and the occasional shock. However where most people will be talking about the entrants I'm going to be wetting your appetites by going back and examining some of the memorable eliminations. Being a battle royal elimination from the Royal Rumble is by being thrown over the top rope to the floor outside the ring.

Without further ado lets dip those shoulders and see whose eliminations make the top 10...

10. Sgt Slaughter 1992


Picture the scene, the 1992 Royal Rumble with the WWE title up for grabs. One year removed from his title win Sgt Slaughter is tasked with making Sid Justice look like a beast. Biding his time until Ric Martel gets away from the turnbuckle Sid whips him across the ring into the opposing buckle. Slaughter crosses the ring so fast he breaks the time barrier sending him over the buckles into the steel ring post in a way that has never been since - every time I see this elimination its like my eyes are lying to me.


9. Alex Riley 2011


"YOU ****ED UP"
"YOU ****ED UP"

Who of us doesn't enjoy a good botch once in a while? Alex Riley looked to have the world set up before him going into 2011. In the role of protege to the Miz who was the reigning champion, Riley was given the task of helping to eliminate John Cena from the Rumble and from challenging the Miz. However after going over the top rope and doing an apron spot he accidentally fell of. I **** you not, go and look at the tape and keep your ears peeled for some classic Miz commentary when he thinks Riley is still in there.


8. Bushwhacker Luke 1991


Who can forget The Bushwackers, comic relief from the late 80's and early 90's mid card? Oh you may scoff but they were good value and in a Rumble where Rick Martel and Greg Valentine looked to be setting records for longevity Bushwhacker Luke famously whacked his way into the ring and got whacked out four memorable seconds later.



7. Greg Valentine and Rik Martel 1994

  

Ladies and gentlemen we have another botch and its another botch that screwed up two eliminations. We're approaching the mid 90's and the WWE's in a state of change, while building up new names Greg Valentine gets a new contract to help put over young up and coming stars. In another apron spot, Greg inadvertently  falls to the floor and his expression is hysterical. However counterpointed to this is the look of shock on Rick Martel's face, as it becomes blatantly obvious that Valentine was meant to eliminate him. Rick then turns around spots Tatanka in the ropes, charges at him and dives over him to elimination leaving a very confused looking Tatanka. 


6. Sabu 2007


Think ECW think tables and this is no different, a memorable elimination from 2007 saw Kane the Big Red Machine choke slam Sabu over the top rope through a conveniently set up table.


5. The Great Khali 2010


We all know the story of David and Goliath but in this case it was Davina and Goliath... actually it was Beth Phoenix and The Great Khali. Phoenix was making a rare female entry into the Royal Rumble and upon entering found the Punjabi Playboy. In an act of chivalry Khali would lift her over the rope onto the apron and insist that she eliminate herself, however he was blindsided by a kiss (we've all been there) and while in shock Phoenix pulled him over the rope and eliminated him. The lesson from this is beware of a woman's kiss... and a woman pulling you over some ring ropes over a fifteen foot drop.


4. Ted DiBiase 1992


We're walking into one of the Royal Rumbles biggest mysteries. Allow me to set the scene, its 1992 and for the first time ever the WWE Championship is up for grabs. In at number two in the Rumble is Ted 'Million Dollar Man' DiBiase, a heel whose always made his opponents look good, had experience of carrying lesser skilled workers in a Rumble match and he gets eliminated within two minutes. Even watching this today there's a feeling that something wasn't quite right. Maybe he was hurt, maybe it was to put over that anything could happen in the next sixty minutes - we may never know...


3. The British Bulldog 1995


Possibly the most famous Rumble elimination of all time, Shaun Michaels and Davey Boy "The British Bulldog" Smith had started that years Royal Rumble and outlasted the likes of Aldo Montoya and Mantaur (shudders) to be the final two. Bulldog throws Michaels over the ropes - his music hits - "SWEET MOTHER OF SASHA BANKS THE BULLDOG HAS WON THE RUMBLE!"Then Michaels walks back in and eliminates Bulldog from behind. One of the best heel Rumble wins, one of the best heel moments and an elimination that will be remembered for years.


2. Daniel Bryan 2015


Going into the 2015 Daniel Bryan was coming back from an injury and having headlined the previous years Wrestlemania he was over. I mean really over, so over the word doesn't exist to describe how over he was, when we eventually invent that word it will still be an understatement. When he came out at number 10 the fans went nuts, when he was eliminated the fans went insane and turned on the event. This is the epitome of a booking decision killing an event. We all know the aftermath, the crowd booed the rest of the Rumble, the fans would never forgive Roman Reigns and for the next year the WWE universe was stuck with someone they didn't care about in the main event picture for the next two Wrestlemanias.


1. Shaun Michaels 2010


However lets end on an up, an elimination that was months in the buildup and helped build up a match for Wrestlemania. The previous year The Undertaker and Shaun Michaels had stolen the show at Wrestlemania and Michaels wanted another shot at The Undertakers undefeated streak. After Undertaker turned him down Michaels was left with one option, win the Rumble and challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship which was held by The Undertaker. Rest assured in every ones mind from the smarks to the kids everyone thought Michaels was going to win. Making it to the final three Michaels was eliminated by Batista, the elimination was in slow motion, the heel taking advantage, Michaels grasping for the rope to stay in and his break down after being eliminated is what wrestling is all about, telling a story and making it as dramatic as possible. Michaels would get more and more desperate for that second match and this Royal Rumble moment helped to make it.


Thursday, 22 December 2016

Rogue One

Good evening lady and gentle reader, this morning I took a trip to the cinema and as I enjoy reading the odd issue of X-men every now and then as well as enjoying the X-men films I opted to see my favourite mutant from the deep south Rogue in her first solo film Rogue One. It must be good I thought as the title implies they're already planning a sequel!

Save your money readers as this film is blatantly false advertising, Rogue isn't even in it - Wolverine isn't in it and Marvel put him in everything. This is without doubt the worst piece of false advertising in a film title since The Never Ending Story. Utterly disappointing - no Rogue, no X-men and at one point Darth Vader turned up, what that was about I've no bloody idea.

In short readers if you fancy a yuletide trip to the cinema go and see something else, in hindsight I wish I'd gone to see that new Star Wars film instead.

Sunday, 4 December 2016

My Favourite Christmas Song

What ho ladies and gentle readers, I hope I find you in fine yuletide festive frollicks as we enter December. A subject that always comes up this time of year is the annual debate "whats your favourite Christmas song?" Well I'm nailing my colours to the mast, you can keep your Wham's, Roy Wood and East 17. My favourite Christmas song is Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses. Do you agree? Do you disagree? If so why not reply with your favourite, meanwhile for those of you who've never heard it heres the youtube video...