Why Three's Latest Advert Annoys The Living Crap Out of Me

Picture the scene ladies and gentle reader, there I was flicking through the channels one evening and during an advert break I hear the opening chimes of 'Alright' by East 17. Curiosity suitable piqued I watched the titular advert and after it finished threw my phone at the TV and yelled abuse at it for fifteen seconds. Here's the advert in question;

A Muppet walks through the streets depressed and has his umbrella torn to pieces by a dog whilst the opening chimes of 'Alright' play. Now walking through the rain a car splashes him in a puddle and he gets soaked by aforementioned rain. We then get a flashback to him leaving home where his father tells him 'make it right son.'

Whoa whoa whoa whoa!!!! Make what right? If he's wet walking about in the rain go into a cafe and have a cup of tea, go home, buy another umbrella DO NOT BUY A MOBILE PHONE! No doubt a sales man can give you a good text and minutes bundle but your still going to get wet!

He then raises his fist in a lane (don't worry its not THAT kind of an advert) and has the tempo speeds up declares 'ITS GONNA BE ALRIGHT!' 

A little girl then drops her ice cream and starts crying, the Muppet walks up and instead of buying her another ice cream pats her on the back and tells her 'its gonna be alright.'

A cheer leader falls off her friends shoulders and instead of administering first aid or calling for an ambulance he goes on singing!

Then we get a couple in a car perched over a gorge in danger of falling over. Not only does the Muppet not help, not call for help but continues singing ON THE FUCKING BONNET! NOT ONLY IS HE NOT HELPING, NOT MAKING IT 'ALRIGHT,' HE'S IN DANGER OF BLOODY KILLING SOMEONE!

The finale is the Muppet singing 'Alright' in a crowd of people singing and dancing along with him. No mention is made of the couple he killed or if he's purchased another umbrella.

In all seriousness whoever came up with this advert needs their marketing degree stuffed up their backside, get demoted back to telesales and never let near the advertising industry again!

YOURS BLOOMING LIVID INNOCUOUS BYSTANDER

The Big Finish Catch Up: May 2015

For those of you new to this section of the blog, I started listening to the Big Finish Doctor Who releases when they started back in 1999, getting them as they were released up to mid 2002 and release No 33 Neverland. At that time I left Uni and due to being a bit busy with life and what not I only heard one or two releases over the next few years. I started getting back into them around 2008 and was 6 years behind at that point. Due to wondering off into the Lost Doctor range and a relaxed listening pace I fell further behind. In order to catch up I'm listening to two releases a month (or more when its a 60 min single disc release, plus without seeing the cover or knowing anything about the story) and my mission to catch up continues;

We start off this month in the main range with The 8th Doctor, Charley and C'rizz. This is a fantastic story with a first episode rather reminiscent of "The Space Museum" and has a rather unique feeling to the production. Its very much a moody and what I'd refer to as a "plot" story, thankfully its one that doesn't dip off when answers are revealed and rewards the listener when we get to the end. On finishing I was pleased to see Steve Lyons was the writer as despite being one of my favourite authors I hadn't really enjoyed an audio as much as others until "Blood of the Daleks." I found this a more instant story, intriguing, multi layered and after a first listen I gladly give it 9/10. Of note it was nice to hear Tracey Childs (who also appeared in one of Lyons earlier plays) among the guest cast.

Also on listening a few things here and there raised my suspicions and on the reading the writers notes in the sleeve they were confirmed: this story is inspired by working in a (bank) call centre. Characters disappearing from the story are obviously workers released without warning, Vannet and Revnon virtually spend the whole play worried about idle time, Kestorian is the team leader whose powers only go so far and while ruling over entry level staff is powerless in the face of the managers, Zanith is the guy who nobody is sure exactly what he does and seems to have found a hole for himself without actually doing anything and The Figurehead is the Call Centre Manager. On top of that there are a few little nods like workers moving to a different floor or site and never seeing their colleagues again. All together its a wonderfully dark take on a seemingly every day practise which Doctor Who has a track record of doing very well.

Next up is the 6th Doctor and Mel in a release featuring two stories "The Wishing Beast" being a three part story followed by the one part "The Vanity Box." I'd actually heard this before having got it on discount about five or six years ago and decided not to include it in the catch up as a long time had gone by without me hearing it. Paul Magrs is the writer and it feels like Magrs by numbers, one of the memories from my first listen was working out who the writer was very early on. Sadly its not one of Magrs better stories, its lacking a bit of oomph and despite being a three instead of a four part story "The Wishing Beast" feels padded. "The Vanity Box" is by far the more fun story and a good little piece of fluff. I try very hard not to slip into fan producer but this is a release crying out to be fixed, both stories feel lightly sketched out and the earlier story definitely needs some bite added. I'm tempted to suggest make both stories two parts but I don't think it would improve "Vanity Box." Oh and Jean Marsh plays a very good mad sister but this story comes down to the format and it lets the release down. In short rather decent if unsatisfactory and needed another edit before it was recorded.