Who will replace Jason Orange in Take That?

Ladies and gentle readers, it can't have escaped your attention that over the last week Jason Orange has announced that he is leaving Take That. Sadly as a result this happened:

Fortunately for Boy Band fans of the land Gary Barlow has been on the phone to yours truly and asked me to put together a short list for replacements. I can exclusively reveal the contenders that I have provided for Gary to consider:

1. Nick Clegg

What Take That need is someone to hover in the background trying but failing to look impressive as he is overshadowed by the bigger personalities.



2. Bruce Forsythe

Its a fact of life that Take That have been going since the early 90's and as a result their fanbase has started to age. Why not bite the bullet and recruit a member to appeal to the blue rinse section of the Take Thaters? Also he's available after retiring from Strictly Come Prancing.



3. Starscream from the Decepticons

This would be an appointment to keep Gary Barlow on his toes, Gary as we all know has long been the leader of Take That and has had an easy ride since Robbie Williams mellowed. Why not recruit Starscream who was forever plotting to overthrow Megatron and take control of the Decepticons? It will certainly be more interesting for us non Take That fans to watch the internal politics as Starscream tries to recruit Mark Owen and the other one to his way of thinking.



4. Luis Suarez

Lets be honest who cares about Barcelona these days? No one thats who, Luis left Liverpool FC and quite frankly its going to be all downhill for the rest of his career. What he needs is to leave football and take his career in a new direction. He already has a fanbase that be can bring to Take That and can hopefully help them crack the lucrative South America market.



5. @fudgecrumpet off of twitter

Lets be honest in the world of Boy Bands its all about selling sex appeal and no body likes to flaunt their funky stuff on twitter more than @fudgecrumpet. Don't go trying to look for anyone sexier on social media because you wont find them.



6. WALL-E

One for the kids, WALL-E starred in a hit film for Disney a few years back and was a hit with the kids. WALL-E hasn't done much since then but is still a favourite with the kids, WALL-E has the potential to attract a third generation of Take That fans and help swell Gary Barlows offshore accounts for another decade.



Well readers, all I can do is pass this list along to Gary Barlow and wait to see what he makes of it. We will have to wait to see who of the above will be having knickers flung at them by the women of the nation at Take Thats next tour...