Oh yes Christmas, which means Christmas films on Ch5 two months before it starts and shops kick starting their marketing drive with adverts. Speaking of which here's the John Lewis one:
What the fuck was that supposed to be? It was bad enough when The Beatles with an A had a go at ruining Real Love, can't we just let the classics rest in peace and come up with new songs? Excuse me while I take this advert apart bit by bit.
1. You can't have a penguin on a trampoline! That's for kangaroos and bunny's.
2. You stick a penguin in with a seagull and flock of pigeons you don't get a cute moment you get a fight, multiple deaths and the RSPCA on your ass.
3. Penguins can't play football, water polo yes but not football.
4. Your saying this little boy came up with an imaginary friend who is on heat 24/7? Where was this plot development in the pigeon and seagull scene?
5. You can't take a pet on a bus that isn't on a lead without incurring a fine.
6. If he has a toy penguin his parents aren't going to get him another, as a kid my parents wouldn't let me have the Transformer Sideswipe because he was the same as Red Alert who I already had. See below pictures of aforementioned Transformers:
Parents getting two of the same toys doesn't happen!
7. So essentially what your saying is instead of getting good presents get kids anything because they have imagination?
8. This doesn't make me want to shop at John Lewis, this makes me want to not shop at John Lewis and spend the day listening to The Beatles with an A's anthology collection.
So ladies and gentle readers what have we learnt from this blog apart from the fact my parents were tight? I'll tell you what, absolutely bloody nothing.
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