Why Three's Latest Advert Annoys The Living Crap Out of Me

Picture the scene ladies and gentle reader, there I was flicking through the channels one evening and during an advert break I hear the opening chimes of 'Alright' by East 17. Curiosity suitable piqued I watched the titular advert and after it finished threw my phone at the TV and yelled abuse at it for fifteen seconds. Here's the advert in question;

A Muppet walks through the streets depressed and has his umbrella torn to pieces by a dog whilst the opening chimes of 'Alright' play. Now walking through the rain a car splashes him in a puddle and he gets soaked by aforementioned rain. We then get a flashback to him leaving home where his father tells him 'make it right son.'

Whoa whoa whoa whoa!!!! Make what right? If he's wet walking about in the rain go into a cafe and have a cup of tea, go home, buy another umbrella DO NOT BUY A MOBILE PHONE! No doubt a sales man can give you a good text and minutes bundle but your still going to get wet!

He then raises his fist in a lane (don't worry its not THAT kind of an advert) and has the tempo speeds up declares 'ITS GONNA BE ALRIGHT!' 

A little girl then drops her ice cream and starts crying, the Muppet walks up and instead of buying her another ice cream pats her on the back and tells her 'its gonna be alright.'

A cheer leader falls off her friends shoulders and instead of administering first aid or calling for an ambulance he goes on singing!

Then we get a couple in a car perched over a gorge in danger of falling over. Not only does the Muppet not help, not call for help but continues singing ON THE FUCKING BONNET! NOT ONLY IS HE NOT HELPING, NOT MAKING IT 'ALRIGHT,' HE'S IN DANGER OF BLOODY KILLING SOMEONE!

The finale is the Muppet singing 'Alright' in a crowd of people singing and dancing along with him. No mention is made of the couple he killed or if he's purchased another umbrella.

In all seriousness whoever came up with this advert needs their marketing degree stuffed up their backside, get demoted back to telesales and never let near the advertising industry again!

YOURS BLOOMING LIVID INNOCUOUS BYSTANDER