Debt

Today I wrote the biggest cheque I had written in years, it was to a company called Robinson Way Ltd and was the final payment of a credit card debt that got out of control in early 00's. Over the years I've had this debt I have gone through gaps in employment, periods on benefit yet never missed a payment. Despite that this collections agency and many like it have acted like complete and utter shits. They have made threats to try and make me up monthly payment accounts, bombarded me with phone calls to try and make me pay by direct debit and sent collection agents (who have left with a flea in their ear) to my house despite the fact I have never missed a payment.

My life now goes on without this company anywhere near it, they have been unable to put late payments on my credit file or adversely affect me since the debt became more than 7 years old. Anyone else currently dealing with a collections agency over a debt that got out of control I'd like to say, keep your head, be firm about the amount you can pay, keep the monthly payments up and never give them access to your bank account. But most importantly insist you will only communicate with them via email, there is no place in the modern world for "account executives" sitting in a call centre calling people who are financially struggling to extort more money out of them.

If you get through it trust me, the feeling of relief is immense.

TV Preview: The Doctor Who Season Opener

Its another blog exclusive this week as I've managed to get my hands on a preview copy of Peter Capaldi's first full appearance as The Doctor as The Twelveteenth Doctors era begins.

Weird shit is happening big time in this episode, Who fans have long become accustomed to the production team going on about a bold new direction for the show for decades. Occasionally we have had huge changes  but by and large the production team rarely change a winning format. Brace yourselves ladies and gentle readers as this time The Moff has thrown the format threw a shredder and come up with something maybe not bolder but more expected.

Things get off to an unexpected start, The Doctor who seems to be suffering from post regenerative trauma decides to take Clara to 1960's Glasgow for an all day piss up as he feels it will take more than tea to get over this regeneration.

We get what can best be described as the deepest most thought provoking monologue from The Doctor since William Hartnells monologue about losing companions. Peter Capaldi slurs his way through extended scenes as he attempted to out drink Big Harry Trowbridge. The most striking change from the recent past is when a drunk tries to attract Clara attention through some uncomfortable means Capaldi greets him with a Glasgow Kiss and the one liner "No hanky-panky on my watch."

After returning to the TARDIS an inebriated Doctor decides to take the TARDIS to 00's Great Britain so he can give David Cameron and Nick Clegg a good shouting at.

I don't want to give to much away but I'll certainly say theres more swearing in the Downing Street scenes than the Aliens of London two parter scenes. Keep your eyes peeled for an original use of the sonic screw driver in these scenes.

After the action things settle down for the rest of the episode which is mostly taken up by what promises to be an ongoing feature in this season "nap time with The Doctor."

We end the episode with The Doctor telling Clara that when he was younger this place was full of giant size pepper pots and telling her everything that her generation has done wrong. We end with The Doctor turning to the camera and telling the viewer not to worry because he's going to beat up some Dalek's and Cybermen next week.

All things considered this is a rather unexpected direction for the show to take but in this bloggers opinion first episodes aren't the best way to judge an era. Lets enjoy the rest of the season and see what happens...

Taken 3

To those of you who haven't noticed one of the top hit film series of recent years has been the Taken series. In these films various members of Liam Neesons family are kidnapped and he spends the rest of the film in a desperate race against time to rescue them. As of the recent film Liam Neeson has run out of family members that need rescuing and doesn't see a future for the series.

Thankfully I have a solution and have prepared the following movie pitch for Taken 3:

Liam Neeson has retired from the security and celebrity protection game and has moved to suburban London. He spends his days down the local pub and feeding the ducks in the local park. He becomes fixed in a routine and is favourite park of the week is bin night where he puts his wheelie bin out to be collected by the council the following morning.

 One afternoon he returns from the pub to find the council have replaced his wheelie bin with a newer thinner model that doesn't contain as much rubbish. After making a phone call to Boris Johnson he threatens to hunt him down and kill him if he doesn't return his wheelie bin. The rest of the film is a race against time as Liam Neeson cuts through council red tape in aid to reach his bin before it is destroyed.

Lets face it ladies and gentle readers, when Liam Neeson hears about this pitch his agent will be in contact within seconds to confirm he's aboard. We can only hope this latest blog has ensured the future of the Taken series...

Who will be the next Suarez?

Followers of Liverpool Football Club and football in general can't have failed to have noticed that finally after trying to eat another footballer during the World Cup Luis Suarez has moved on from Liverpool to Barcelona. In this blog I look at the leading candidates to replace Suarez at Anfield:


Wilfried Bony

Pro's

1. Has had a very good past two seasons proving he can score in two European leagues.
2. Was very good last year whilst playing for Swansea in the Europe.
3. Has a style that fits into our system.

Con's

1. Lack of experience on the big stage.
2. Often used recently as a target man and possibly not what Liverpool are looking for.

Grimlock

Pro's

1. As leader of the Dinobots he is used to leading teams from the front.
2. Can turn into a dinosaur and eat Fat Sam Allardyce.

Con's

1. Would be unwilling to play in a team of "puny humans."
2. Limited understanding of tactics and has yet to fully comprehend the offside rule.

Alf

Pro's

1. Having lived on earth he qualifies to play for Earth based teams under Uefa rules.
2. His large nose would continue the tradition of large snouted players who have gone on to become club legends.

Con's

1. Eats cats and would be a bigger PR nightmare than Suarez.
2. At 3'7 would possibly become intimidated by the match day mascots.

Matt Smith

Pro's

1. Is available after a high profile TV exit from Doctor Who.
2. Looks good in a suit, which after the Spice Boy 90's era is a good thing.
3. Has actually played at professional level.

Con's

1. If heavily injured he is likely to regenerate into Peter Capaldi who is shit at football.
2. Limited understanding of football believing it to be "the one with the sticks."
3. Due to the nature of his previous job he would have to start in injury time and play backwards to the start of the game.

Douglas Haig

Pro's

1. Has experience of leading campaigns into Europe.
2. Has never lost to the Germans or needed penalties to beat them.
3. He's Scottish and we've not had a good Scottish player in a while.

Con's

1. Will not submit to backroom staff dental examinations unless monitored by the Royal Army Dental Corps.
2. Is dead.
3. Did you not read the above point.

Louise Mensch

Pro's

1. Has experience of looking impressive whilst others do all the work so should get a few tap ins.
2. Able to add to dressing room camaraderie with endless anecdotes about Michael Heseltine and Theresa May.

Con's

1. As a Tory she would be a hard sell to the Anfield crowd.
2. If things don't go well she is likely to form a smaller, less successful version of Liverpool FC.

There we have it ladies and gentle readers, picking your next star striker is a lot harder than it looks. With every positive there is a negative and with the above six candidates we've only scratched the surface of the epic search Brendan Rodgers has ahead of him. All I can do is wish Brendan good luck and good hunting.

The Big Finish Catch Up: July 2014

A whopping four stories this month as I squeezed in quite a few single disc stories:

The first story up is "Her Final Flight" the subscription freebie from 2004 featuring the 6th Doctor and Peri. A very good set up actually leaves us with a story that never really gets going, suddenly stops and unlike the previous subscription freebie (The Maltese Penguin) takes itself to seriously. It feels like a set up for a future story which until I get around to hearing that I don't think I'll be able to fully appreciate this one. As a result I have to rate it as grudgingly disappointing.

The Renaissance Man stars Tom Baker and Louise Jameson as the 4th Doctor and Leela. I can categorically say that Tom has found his Big Finish feet. As opposed to the previous story in the range where it felt like Tom was going through the motions it feels like Toms got back into the part and is having fun. The cast are good, the story is fun (although hearing the fourth Doctor in hour long stories is taking a bit of getting used to) and the plot throws us a few curve balls. This one is highly recommended.

Next up we're back in the Destiny of the Doctor range as we reach the Ninth Doctor era, featuring the line up of the 9th Doctor, Rose and Captain Jack the audio book is voiced by Nicholas Briggs. This is a very good audio book with a cracking plot that I wish could have made it to TV, Briggs does a cracking job on voicing the characters and in a range that when its been good has been excellent we have another high quality entry. Not just a curates egg (a rare audio ninth Doctor story) this is a highly recommended story.

We go next into the Lost Story range as I look to finish off the stories I've not heard yet in this range. The Children of Seth features the 5th Doctor, Nyssa, Tegan and is based on an original submission by Christopher Bailey (adapted by Marc Platt) best known for the Peter Davison era Mara stories. A high quality/calibre cast includes Honor Blackman and David Warner. I'll say this now I think I prefer this one to the authors two TV stories, its absolutely bonkers with large slices of religion and philosophy that hook the listener in and keep you glued to the story for the duration. Its also noticeable how much the regulars are enjoying things in fact in the extras Peter Davison mentions how much he enjoyed Baileys TV stories and that its good to have him back. This is by no means a fluffy story, it feels very much a story with an edge, in fact some surprising things happen to the regulars. There are many fine set pieces, noticeably the descent to level 14 and the 3rd cliffhanger. Just a minor niggle that one of the cast sounds similar to David Warner and I did get the characters mixed up on occasion. Recommended and also noteworthy as it feels a bit special.