Over the last few years I've drifted away from reading to the extent where I may have read only three or four books each of the last few years. This blog entry will be a record of this years reading material and an effort to get back into enjoying a good book. Anyway here's what I read in 2014:
Interesting Times by Terry Prattchett, I'd started this in November of last year but finished it in early January. I've gotten into the habit of revisiting the Discworld over the last few years and felt in the mood for a Rincewind tale. So much from this book has stayed with me over the years, be it a one liner or plot detail and it was an absolute joy to revisit.
The Gallifrey Chronicles by Lance Parkin, this book is the final book of the BBC's Eighth Doctor range. I was a regular reader when they came out but drifted away at the end, having seen this re released a year or two back I'd had my eye on it for some time. Surprisingly it was quite a romp and not much of an event book compared to other books from the same range. A pleasant tale and fully enjoyable with a few nice touches, I especially enjoyed the ending and the Doctors interaction with the other time lord.
Frankenstein by Mary Shelly, sadly a disappointment and I'm not sure how this piece of work has made it into the public consciousness. I expected a horror classic and all I got was a weak travelogue.
The Mysterious Island by Jules Verne, I was glued to the page for the entire 500+ page count. Fully of wonderful characters, camaraderie, a fantastic location, and a good solid background plot attached to the ongoing survival story line. At this point my favourite read of the year.
Doctor Who: Tales of Trenzalore: The Eleventh Doctors Last Stand, a collection of short stories set during Matt Smiths TV story. A good collection that builds on the world and situation set up during the TV story - also the stories are very different featuring a diverse number of the Doctors villains, recommended.
The Sign of Four by Conan Doyle, having read two of the Sherlock Holmes short story collections I'd been meaning to get around to one of the novels for some time. A fun and rather short read, a lot of the traditionally highly quoted Holmes lines come from this story. Very much a fun romp, compared to the short stories there isn't really much detection going on but a fun romp of an adventure none the less. Plus for readers like me there is a short story included in the prose where we get the motivation of the villain.
The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas, a book I'd been meaning to get around to for some time. I've seen so many adaptions of this over the years from the Dogtanian to the Richard Lester films so it was a joy finally reading the source material. Due to me getting back into work and lack of reading time it took me three months to read this (I love a good meaty book that takes months to get through) so it looks like I may not read as many books as I hoped this year.
Aberystwyth Mon Amour by Malcolm Pryce, I saw the cover of this book a few years ago and knew I'd read it at some point. A brilliant mix of noir, dark comedy and a brilliant mystery. The lead character and the town of Aberystwyth are brought to life majestically. Highly recommended and I will be reading more of Louis Knight in the future.
Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie, I finally break my Christie cherry and read one of her books! I've seen quite a few adaptions of her work (a firm film fav of mine is the 1982 film adaption of Evil Under the Sun) including this book. So while knowing who the killer was I was still able to enjoy the book and will be rounding off all of Agatha's books I've seen adaptions of before tackling the mysteries I've yet to experience.
Starter For Ten by David Nicholls, a story about Brian Jacksons first year at university. It has a lot to say about growing up, a lot about class structure and 80's pop culture. Another book I highly recommend although the main character himself is a frustrating protagonist who will have you throwing the book against the wall.
Moving Pictures by Terry Prattchett, my end of year traditional visit to the Discworld was to my favourite book in the series. I hadn't read it in years and my reading of 2014 ends on a high, I always say if your getting into Prattchett and Discworld for the first time try this one, twenty four years on and its still a cracking read with quite a few firsts that have lingered and become fan favourites.
In short my best read of 2014 was The Three Musketeers and the worst was Frankenstein.
Sunday 21 December 2014
Sunday 7 December 2014
The Big Finish Catch Up: November 2014
In my ongoing mission to catch up with Big Finishes audio range I'm still making my way through the monthly ranges 2005 output...
We start of with Other Lives featuring the 8th Doctor, Charley and C'rizz. This is without doubt the most enjoyable story the 8th Doctor has had in absolute ages. Due to the 8th Doctors story going in a certain direction since Zagreus we've had by and large a certain type of story, a lot of angst and this crew in particular being put through the ringer. This story is just pure fun and in places a joyous farce, there's the odd bit of steel noticeably when a certain ongoing plot is touched on slightly but apart from that this is the most fun the 8th Doctor stuff has been in ages. Highly recommended and top scores all around from me.
Next up is Thicker Than Water, I must state I know this isn't in the right order, but I try not to look at story titles, covers or numbers and sometimes listen to them slightly out of order. This story features the 6th Doctor, Mel and Evelyn, its also a sequel to Arrangements For War which is a personal favourite of mine. Possibly not one I recommend as a one off purchase as its more of a farewell to Evelyn who gets a lovely "happy ever after" and a surprising cameo with some revealing information for another character. A lovely intimate story and its good to see Sixy being so proud of the affect Evelyn had on him as he pays a visit to her years after they parted when he's traveling with Mel. Another thumbs up, its good to see Big Finish revisit the scenes of its top stories. Like I said earlier I don't look up details of stories I've not heard so I assume its the last appearance for Evelyn and its a very fond farewell. Sadly Maggie Stables who played Evelyn passed away recently and she'll always be remembered in Doctor Who fandom for her work with the Six Doctor and her help in molding him into who Colin wanted to portray on screen as well as on audio. RIP Maggie and I hope you enjoyed every moment life threw at you.
We start of with Other Lives featuring the 8th Doctor, Charley and C'rizz. This is without doubt the most enjoyable story the 8th Doctor has had in absolute ages. Due to the 8th Doctors story going in a certain direction since Zagreus we've had by and large a certain type of story, a lot of angst and this crew in particular being put through the ringer. This story is just pure fun and in places a joyous farce, there's the odd bit of steel noticeably when a certain ongoing plot is touched on slightly but apart from that this is the most fun the 8th Doctor stuff has been in ages. Highly recommended and top scores all around from me.
Next up is Thicker Than Water, I must state I know this isn't in the right order, but I try not to look at story titles, covers or numbers and sometimes listen to them slightly out of order. This story features the 6th Doctor, Mel and Evelyn, its also a sequel to Arrangements For War which is a personal favourite of mine. Possibly not one I recommend as a one off purchase as its more of a farewell to Evelyn who gets a lovely "happy ever after" and a surprising cameo with some revealing information for another character. A lovely intimate story and its good to see Sixy being so proud of the affect Evelyn had on him as he pays a visit to her years after they parted when he's traveling with Mel. Another thumbs up, its good to see Big Finish revisit the scenes of its top stories. Like I said earlier I don't look up details of stories I've not heard so I assume its the last appearance for Evelyn and its a very fond farewell. Sadly Maggie Stables who played Evelyn passed away recently and she'll always be remembered in Doctor Who fandom for her work with the Six Doctor and her help in molding him into who Colin wanted to portray on screen as well as on audio. RIP Maggie and I hope you enjoyed every moment life threw at you.
Saturday 15 November 2014
TV Corner - Doctor Who Season 8 Review
As the clock reaches half past November another season of Doctor Who has gone by and its time for this viewer to cast a critical eye over this years offerings. Its certainly been an engrossing year, I for one have certainly found it dynamic but ladies and gentle readers lets dive in and see if I thought it was any good...
Deep Breath
If I have to pick one word to describe this episode it would be awkward, not only the episode it fits the Doctor too. After the traumatic regeneration of the Christmas story he still hasn't recovered yet, which is wonderful as we get a story with a bonkers Doctor whose personality hasn't settled down yet. A really good aspect I like of this is for the first part of the story he's still talking as if he's his previous self - certainly now that 12's got a season under his belt yelling at a dinosaur calling her sexy is clearly not him. On top of that among the supporting cast is the Paternoster gang more commonly associated with the 11th Doctor. In short theres a lot of 11 Doctor trappings in this story to keep the casual viewer comfortable as we embark on the adventures of the current Doctor, rather akin to how Tom Bakers start was wrapped up in a UNIT story feeling like it could have fit anywhere in Jon Pertwees reign.
When Peter Capaldi gets going we see him in short bursts, he falls asleep, wonders off and disappears at various stages when he's in full flow pulling the viewer in and wanting to see more of this new Doctor I'd probably blame the English. This Doctor is wonderfully awkward as is his interactions with Clara and everyone else, its noticeable that the most Doctorish Capaldi gets is when he's finally facing a villain. As an episode its quite an odd one, I've gotten the thought into my head that given the title it echoes taking a deep breath after some kind of traumatic event given the stop start nature of the story. There's a lot going on here, the after effects of the regeneration, the spontaneous combustion mystery, Clara getting to know this new Doctor and the Paternoster gang. As a villain the cyborgs are an interesting take and update on the clockwork robots and its understandable we're not getting an original villain as the main focus on this story is the regeneration.
As an episode I think its a juicy start to the season, personally I think visually it looks like there's been a change of style. As I said its a little bit stop start and the direction is also much of the same and for a rather intimate story it did make me feel somewhat uninvolved. My personal rating of this story is that its rather a nice little gentle start with an odd surprise in Missy and an unexpected cameo from Matt.
Into the Dalek
I know it sounds daft saying this but I think this episode is one that will be able to fit anywhere into Capaldi's era. Already in his second story Peter feels like he's on top of his game and has nailed the character, I actually found it a little disconcerting how dynamic his performance is after standing awkwardly while getting hugged at the end of the previous episode. He's able to pilot the TARDIS to the point he can materialise around someone and he's facing off against one of his biggest enemies. A world a way from the previous episode, as is the direction which is strange as its the same director. Visually its very blue and it works with the Dalek and in this scifi environment, from memory I think its a colour the series hasn't really embraced and helps differentiate this story from other Dalek episodes. Talking about Rusty, in his action shots this may be the best the Daleks have been shot on camera since Joe Ahearne back in 2005.
We get the introduction of Danny this episode as well as seeing Clara at Coal Hill School, it also gives us our first look at the Doctor picking her up for a trip which we'd see a lot of this season. Another good aspect of this story is the rebel crew of the Aristotle, Zawe Ashton is fantastic and I really wish we'd have seen more of Michael Smiley who I find very watchable.
Summing up this is a very strong and pivotal story with a good hook of being shrunk and going inside the Dalek. The Doctor is on his game throughout the story so the end when he's taken aback about Rusty seeing so much hate in him is a rather unexpected swerve - Capaldi looks so sweet in that final scene with Clara. Really good and strong stuff stuff however the format of the show slightly reigns the glory of this episode in, I think it should have been a two part story, theres a bit of rushing near the end and there are so many directions to take the story concept that the story doesn't venture into.
We get the introduction of Danny this episode as well as seeing Clara at Coal Hill School, it also gives us our first look at the Doctor picking her up for a trip which we'd see a lot of this season. Another good aspect of this story is the rebel crew of the Aristotle, Zawe Ashton is fantastic and I really wish we'd have seen more of Michael Smiley who I find very watchable.
Summing up this is a very strong and pivotal story with a good hook of being shrunk and going inside the Dalek. The Doctor is on his game throughout the story so the end when he's taken aback about Rusty seeing so much hate in him is a rather unexpected swerve - Capaldi looks so sweet in that final scene with Clara. Really good and strong stuff stuff however the format of the show slightly reigns the glory of this episode in, I think it should have been a two part story, theres a bit of rushing near the end and there are so many directions to take the story concept that the story doesn't venture into.
Robot of Sherwood
Every so often theres a story that comes along for a Doctor where the stories fun, the cast & crew are having a ball and the viewers are having a ball - the tradition that is the good old romp. Pick a Doctor and I'll reel a off a romp - Hartnell has The Myth Makers, Pertwee has The Time Warrior, Davison has The Visitation to name a few. You've got a returning writer who can pen a yarn, a star a few stories in two guest stars Ben Miller and Tom Riley, lets do Robin Hood! We get what it says on the tin, a good fun romp, some good scenes the cast throw themselves into, a good little story and some highly quotable lines.
Listen
We've had a romp and now we go for another Doctor Who tradition, the atypical story that really puts proof to the mantra you can do anything in Doctor Who. Some other examples of this are The Mind Robber, Warriors Gate, Fathers Day & Vincent and The Doctor. The kind of story which is one giant curve ball and leaves the viewer constantly stating "I wasn't expect THAT!" If I was the sort of person who rated things out of 10 this episode would be just a string of tens. That shot of Peter sat on the TARDIS meditating before opening his eyes is fantastic - the money shot of the advertising campaign. Its another strong directorial performance, Douglas Mackinnon I take my hat off to you.
All through the episode I never took my eyes off the screen once, I was glued through the scenes and surprises. I love the bedroom scene with Danny, those not into the horror genre may not enjoy it so much but I really dig these scenes that start off as one thing but turn up the tension and become something else. There were so many twists and turns in this story, the date being interrupted by someone in a space suit, the last room at the end of the universe, an unexpected trip to Gallifrey and things that go bump under the bed. I truly think this story was something special.
Time Heist
I'm in two minds over this story, on one hand we have a good little caper going on and the other a disappointment. Theres good stuff going on here but to me this is the classic example of an episode that is ruined by the format. I like it but it should have been given more room to breathe, we're thrown in at the deep end which is nice but after that its rush rush rush as they try to cram the plot and set pieces into 45 minutes. Keeley Hawes is good value with a nice little twist to her role, the rest of cast are good, a nice little swerve at the end and being thrown in at the start with no knowledge of whats going on is a fantastic move. A good little story but could have been so much better.
The Caretaker
This is a rather charming cute little story, the Skovox is a fun bit of fluff but the main meat of this story is The Doctor, Clara and Danny. Theres no way of beating around the bush, I lost interest in Danny at this point he becomes a complete buzz kill and starts killing every scene he's in. Danny discovers Clara's double life and its not done in an interesting or dramatic way to keep me watching. I lost interest in the episode, found myself glancing at the clock. There's a lot of cute scenes with The Doctor passing as a caretaker but there isn't really enough of this. There's no beating about this bush I don't want these stories from Gareth Roberts - I want the Gareth Roberts who wrote An English Way of Death, The Once Doctor, The Plotters and The Shakespeare Code not the one who does banter/filler episodes. There's good stuff here but its not a story I really care for.
Kill the Moon
Rather like the previous story I have to declare I find the central moral set piece of this story uninteresting, however I still think its a cracking episode. The school girl is quite fun and Hermione Norris adds tons of weight to her role. This episode is at its best early in the story when its trying to do a Hinchcliffe the Hinchcliffe era and scare the kids. Proper good stuff here as they explore the colony, its loses itself in the moral set piece but the verve of the story is enough to pull things along. I think the end is at best clunky, The Doctor has form of this sort of thing and as Clara was spliced along his time line she should be aware of this. All in all good but not great and a decent stab at tackling horror.
Mummy on the Orient Express
Right from the opening seconds of this episode I knew it was going to be a good one, a creepy mummy slowly walking towards an elderly lady who is the only one who can see it - IN SPACE! Whats not to like The Doctor is lured onto the train by Gus to investigate and its a crash bang wallop 45 minutes as The Doctor attempts to solve the problem and save everyone. I must mention Frank Skinner as he's utterly wonderful as Perkins, also of note is David Bamber whose also good value. As well as the mummy, Gus the computer system is also a good villain (He knows the Doctors phone number!), sounding all pompously middle management then calmly killing the cooks to make his point - this is the sort of character that reminds me of Robert Holmes. There are a few twists like when most of the crew are revealed to be holograms and a lovely few scenes with The Doctor and Clara tucked away at the end. Really really good stuff from all involved and a cracking story.
Flatline
As an episode it didn't really click with me, theres some fun stuff like The Doctor getting stuck in the TARDIS and Clara having to handle things outside but I feel like I'm watching a first draft. Christopher Fairbank is wasted and the guest characters are awful - truly awful. At the end the survivors are having an emotional moment including a train driver who only turned up five minutes before the end. The Boneless are at time wonderfully scary and at other times vaguely hotchpotch looking not quite all there. In short decent but it feels rushed.
In the Forest of the Night
A quiet little story tucked in near the end of the season before the crash bang wallop finale. I like this one, as a story its what I like to refer as a "short trip" one of those quick stories that if novelised would come out at the length of a short story. Again its shot very well, in particular Maebh running through the forest and I was glued to the screen throughout. Its rather atypical and as a result I found myself more drawn in wondering where things were going than usual. Once it settles down it does feel a tad twee however it remains enjoyable. The kids are quite good value and most of them get characters, Capaldi is on fine form throughout. I mentioned earlier that I lost interest in Danny earlier but here he's down right annoying. All in all a nice little diversion before the end and it actually does better than quite a few stories from seasons past tucked in before the end.
Dark Heaven
As is traditional in Doctor Who fandom when we get a two part story we glue the titles together for a joint title and I'm going with Dark Heaven. I've mentioned previously that a few stories were let down by to much rushing and not having room to breathe, here we have a perfect example of why two parters rock. The first episode is mainly swerve balls being thrown at the audience - a regular is killed off before the titles! The volcano scene is brilliant as is The Doctors reaction at the end. When the TARDIS lands in St Paul's Cathedral I genuinely thought they'd landed in the after life. Missy pretending to be a robot is fantastic - just before she reveals her identity I was convinced she was Susan the one you abandoned. Danny plot line in this story is quite moving and Sam Anderson actually gives his best performances here. All in all the first part is surprise after surprise and even if you didn't avoid spoilers there must have been some that took you by surprise. The end of the first episode with The Doctor surrounded by The Master and the Cybermen is brilliant - ST PAUL'S certainly pressed my buttons.
I don't think the second part is as strong as the first, we get rather a cheap swerve as Clara declares she's The Doctor and suddenly gets an appearance in the title but we know its bollocks. Michelle Gomez comes into her own in this episode her interpretation of The Master as a bat shit crazy Mary Poppins on acid is brilliant. I'm already preferring her to the previous incarnation. UNIT put in an appearance but to be honest bar the set piece of the plane being ripped apart and Osgood's death it feels like their scenes are treading water and killing time.
I'm not to crazy about the Cybermen to be honest, I don't think they are a monster that the series has got to grips with post 2005. There is however a brilliant scene as they come to life in the graves as Clara walks through the graveyard. Also I'm in two minds about the Brigadiers appearance, whilst it was lovely he saved Kate and got a salute I don't really like the idea of Lethbridge-Stewart (or any other dead companion like Jamie) going through hell in the Nethersphere as The Master tries to get them to delete their emotions.
Oh but the ending is bittersweet as The Doctor believes The Masters final lie, Capaldi is brilliant - I love that he opened the doors to see with his own eyes instead of using the scanner. Its a sad ending as both The Doctor and Clara part ways each trying to bluff each other that they've moved on but a fantastic ending as The Doctors life takes an unexpected turn.
As a general overview I really enjoyed this season (as you'll have learnt from above I am a notoriously hard marker) and I think this is the best season in recent years. The majority of the last two seasons have included stories which improved on a re-watch when this seasons felt more dynamic and made an instant impression. Peter Capaldi with a season now under his belt has shown to be an impressive Doctor, he's as different from Matt as Matt was from David. I enjoy the spikier more awkward Doctors and look forward to The Christmas special. We had a number of high quality quest stars this year with Frank Skinner, Hermione Norris and Michelle Gomez impressing. I hope to see more of Michelle Gomez as I don't believe The Masters dead one bit. Bar the odd story I wasn't to keen on the writers have put a good shift in this year but the stars of the production team have been the directors with Rachel Talalay for the finale, Ben Weatley for Into the Dalek and Paul Wilmshurst for his two episodes being the most impressive.
Plaudits to all around and I can't wait for Christmas!
Thursday 6 November 2014
John Lewis Christmas Advert
Halloween has been and gone, Bonfire Night has finished in a blaze of fireworks, so whats next?
Oh yes Christmas, which means Christmas films on Ch5 two months before it starts and shops kick starting their marketing drive with adverts. Speaking of which here's the John Lewis one:
What the fuck was that supposed to be? It was bad enough when The Beatles with an A had a go at ruining Real Love, can't we just let the classics rest in peace and come up with new songs? Excuse me while I take this advert apart bit by bit.
1. You can't have a penguin on a trampoline! That's for kangaroos and bunny's.
2. You stick a penguin in with a seagull and flock of pigeons you don't get a cute moment you get a fight, multiple deaths and the RSPCA on your ass.
3. Penguins can't play football, water polo yes but not football.
4. Your saying this little boy came up with an imaginary friend who is on heat 24/7? Where was this plot development in the pigeon and seagull scene?
5. You can't take a pet on a bus that isn't on a lead without incurring a fine.
6. If he has a toy penguin his parents aren't going to get him another, as a kid my parents wouldn't let me have the Transformer Sideswipe because he was the same as Red Alert who I already had. See below pictures of aforementioned Transformers:
Parents getting two of the same toys doesn't happen!
7. So essentially what your saying is instead of getting good presents get kids anything because they have imagination?
8. This doesn't make me want to shop at John Lewis, this makes me want to not shop at John Lewis and spend the day listening to The Beatles with an A's anthology collection.
So ladies and gentle readers what have we learnt from this blog apart from the fact my parents were tight? I'll tell you what, absolutely bloody nothing.
Oh yes Christmas, which means Christmas films on Ch5 two months before it starts and shops kick starting their marketing drive with adverts. Speaking of which here's the John Lewis one:
What the fuck was that supposed to be? It was bad enough when The Beatles with an A had a go at ruining Real Love, can't we just let the classics rest in peace and come up with new songs? Excuse me while I take this advert apart bit by bit.
1. You can't have a penguin on a trampoline! That's for kangaroos and bunny's.
2. You stick a penguin in with a seagull and flock of pigeons you don't get a cute moment you get a fight, multiple deaths and the RSPCA on your ass.
3. Penguins can't play football, water polo yes but not football.
4. Your saying this little boy came up with an imaginary friend who is on heat 24/7? Where was this plot development in the pigeon and seagull scene?
5. You can't take a pet on a bus that isn't on a lead without incurring a fine.
6. If he has a toy penguin his parents aren't going to get him another, as a kid my parents wouldn't let me have the Transformer Sideswipe because he was the same as Red Alert who I already had. See below pictures of aforementioned Transformers:
Parents getting two of the same toys doesn't happen!
7. So essentially what your saying is instead of getting good presents get kids anything because they have imagination?
8. This doesn't make me want to shop at John Lewis, this makes me want to not shop at John Lewis and spend the day listening to The Beatles with an A's anthology collection.
So ladies and gentle readers what have we learnt from this blog apart from the fact my parents were tight? I'll tell you what, absolutely bloody nothing.
Tuesday 4 November 2014
The Big Finish Catch Up: October 2014
In this months update of my attempt to catch up with the Big Finish releases I wonder off the main range into the Eighth Doctor Adventures and The New Adventures of Bernice Summerfield...
First up is Blood of the Daleks, the first story in the new range of "Eighth Doctor Adventures" an offshoot series taking the 8th Doctor out of the main range and giving us something more familiar with post 2005 Who. I have to say I did originally hear the first season when it aired but haven't heard it since. This story feels different from the main range, its more snappy and less fluffy than the usual Big Finish play. Its a stark story albeit traditional, a colony invaded by the Daleks but this is a very bleak colony perhaps teetering on the edge of collapse before the Daleks turn up. Very few of the colonists are sympathetic and some are worse than the Daleks, if you like stories with an edge this one is for you. Getting on to the regulars Paul McGanns 8th Doctor is wonderfully put out from the onset, having a new companion and status quo forced on him - the Doctor is in a grumpy mood and wants to show it. We haven't heard McGann play the Doctor this prickly since the alternative universe season. Sheridan Smith is a welcome addition as Lucie, neither her or The Doctor like each other or wanting to spend any time together is a wonderful little twist. Lucie has been placed with The Doctor for her safety by the Time Lords for some undisclosed reason. An amusing start, an engrossing story and a little bit of spice at the end as a new character is introduced that is pivotal to the season story line.
The next listen was the final two parts of The New Adventures of Bernice Summerfield box set "Random Ghosts" and "The Lights of *****." Two strong stories bringing the story to a close. On finishing the set I can best describe this as one story separated into four acts, centering on Bernice with the other characters flitting in and out. "Random Ghosts" is perhaps the most fascinating Big Finish story I've heard, I absolutely adored it (and the format) and could have listened to an expanded version for hours if it existed. The final story is quite odd, I'd advise not to look up its title as it improves the 3rd story. Its more of a small scale deep story that presents a few interesting thoughts and a lot less flash bang wallop than I expected. Strongly recommend and a welcome return for the Virgin New Adventures team.
As a whole I rate this box set highly, personally I think the price is a bit steep but this set imo has the most re listen value in anything Big Finish have produced. Every disc in the story has at least one scene or reveal I want to hear again, in particular how I missed all the clues in part one and I want to hear part three again as it packed a lot in and I'm sure I missed loads in here. As someone whose only heard the main range stories of Bernice along with the Love & War adaption and her Excelis story its made me want to listen to more stories from her range which makes this set a success in my book.
First up is Blood of the Daleks, the first story in the new range of "Eighth Doctor Adventures" an offshoot series taking the 8th Doctor out of the main range and giving us something more familiar with post 2005 Who. I have to say I did originally hear the first season when it aired but haven't heard it since. This story feels different from the main range, its more snappy and less fluffy than the usual Big Finish play. Its a stark story albeit traditional, a colony invaded by the Daleks but this is a very bleak colony perhaps teetering on the edge of collapse before the Daleks turn up. Very few of the colonists are sympathetic and some are worse than the Daleks, if you like stories with an edge this one is for you. Getting on to the regulars Paul McGanns 8th Doctor is wonderfully put out from the onset, having a new companion and status quo forced on him - the Doctor is in a grumpy mood and wants to show it. We haven't heard McGann play the Doctor this prickly since the alternative universe season. Sheridan Smith is a welcome addition as Lucie, neither her or The Doctor like each other or wanting to spend any time together is a wonderful little twist. Lucie has been placed with The Doctor for her safety by the Time Lords for some undisclosed reason. An amusing start, an engrossing story and a little bit of spice at the end as a new character is introduced that is pivotal to the season story line.
The next listen was the final two parts of The New Adventures of Bernice Summerfield box set "Random Ghosts" and "The Lights of *****." Two strong stories bringing the story to a close. On finishing the set I can best describe this as one story separated into four acts, centering on Bernice with the other characters flitting in and out. "Random Ghosts" is perhaps the most fascinating Big Finish story I've heard, I absolutely adored it (and the format) and could have listened to an expanded version for hours if it existed. The final story is quite odd, I'd advise not to look up its title as it improves the 3rd story. Its more of a small scale deep story that presents a few interesting thoughts and a lot less flash bang wallop than I expected. Strongly recommend and a welcome return for the Virgin New Adventures team.
As a whole I rate this box set highly, personally I think the price is a bit steep but this set imo has the most re listen value in anything Big Finish have produced. Every disc in the story has at least one scene or reveal I want to hear again, in particular how I missed all the clues in part one and I want to hear part three again as it packed a lot in and I'm sure I missed loads in here. As someone whose only heard the main range stories of Bernice along with the Love & War adaption and her Excelis story its made me want to listen to more stories from her range which makes this set a success in my book.
Wednesday 29 October 2014
Selling Yourself For the Pound
For those who aren't aware I recently left Swansea's Amazon branch for the fifth time (sadly this is not a record) and have been since looking for work. However all this has resulted in endless days of applications and a few phone interviews. Although proving the old adage you wait half an hour for a bus and then two come along at once I recently had my first two proper interviews within a few days of each other.
I was perusing the Directgov website for jobs one day and noticed that Save Britain Money had been advertising for jobs about a month earlier. For those unaware they are best known as BBC 3's The Call Centre.
Rather than apply through some old out of date adverts I thought I'd send them my CV and details directly by the web site. I've got a lot of experience in call centre environments and thought it would be a good place to get my career on track. Lo and behold after sending my CV I got a call ten minutes later from a chap called Stephen on behalf of SBM. After a quick chat I was invited to an interview at 13:30 the following Wednesday.
I always say if you've got a company which suits your background and skill set nearby send your details in and get yourself noticed. I have an extensive background in call centres ranging from front line, inbound, outbound, sales, customer service, training, floor walking and management. On top of that after looking at the web site I found they were branching into financial services which is where I've had my most successful period in my career and got my management experience.
After doing my research on the company I set out to Swansea, a 20 minute walk to the train station followed by a 20 minute train ride into Swansea Central and then a 45 minute walk to Swansea Enterprise Park in pouring rain saw me arrive a good 20 minutes early. I stepped through the door and was greeted by the sound of a massive crash, I turned to my left to see that Hayley the tea girl crashing her trolley trying to exit a lift.
I was shown in to the canteen by the security guard and spent half an hour chatting to staff and other people here for the interview. On chatting to some new starters I found the procedure was a quick one on one interview and then you'd be brought back for a group interview. After fifty minutes I was called into an office by Stephen who I'd spoken to on the phone. I politely listened when he told me about the company and various things I had already found out and a number of things I hadn't. I then told him about myself making sure to focus on my call centre experience, extensive sales background and experience in managing a sales force selling financial services. After five minutes the interview was over and Stephen said he would call me later to schedule a second interview. I made my way home, that evening while playing Mass Effect 2 Stephen called. Apparently they had "sold their available slots" and would contact me in six weeks when they had openings. Needless to say this was disappointing stuff, I had hoped that given my experience it would have been a case of "blimey this candidates good get them in ASAP" however I went to them and knew they weren't recruiting at the moment. As I type this its two weeks on and only four weeks until they start taking people on so its something in the bank if nothing turns up in the mean time.
The next day I had a text from Hays (a recruitment firm) asking me if I was interested in working for Virgin Media in customer service. This offer brought up conflicting emotions, long time readers will know that I'm transgender. A number of years ago I applied for a job at the Virgin Swansea site (when it was NTL), I applied for a job as a Com which is a managerial level job. I interviewed for the job, however on informing them I was trans all of a sudden instead of a Com I was offered a front line job on customer service. It was my second experience of HR and the recruitment industries transphobic attitude and I took the job with the agreement after three months I could re-interview for the Com job. Three months went by and the Com job interview never happened and I left.
After some thought I emailed them saying I was interested, theres no way Virgin could be as bad as NTL so I had little to lose. The following day I had a phone interview which I passed and my in person interview was scheduled for the next Monday at 10:00. However I woke up that morning to see that there had been an explosion at Didcot which had screwed up the Great Western train line. This resulted in me having to run from Swansea Central to Matrix Court. The interview was a one on one in which I had to give examples of certain situations and also put over my experience. I mentioned I'd worked on the site before and went into detail on my call centre experience. On finishing I was told I should hear back later that day, in reality it would be a week until I heard back and that was after I had to politely push them that it had been four days when I was meant to hear back later that day.
The following Monday I was called and told I didn't get the position due to "a lack of experience" which is complete bullshit. As said earlier I have a number of years experience in call centres ranging from front line work, inbound, outbound, sales, customer service, training, floor walking and management. It really knocked me for six, I had done enough to get the post and had the experience. I should be used to this by now as its something the trans community are used to, ie not getting jobs we should walk in to. Sadly the last few years have resulted in me going in and out of Amazon on a temp basis. Hopefully the next application will have a happier outcome.
I was perusing the Directgov website for jobs one day and noticed that Save Britain Money had been advertising for jobs about a month earlier. For those unaware they are best known as BBC 3's The Call Centre.
Rather than apply through some old out of date adverts I thought I'd send them my CV and details directly by the web site. I've got a lot of experience in call centre environments and thought it would be a good place to get my career on track. Lo and behold after sending my CV I got a call ten minutes later from a chap called Stephen on behalf of SBM. After a quick chat I was invited to an interview at 13:30 the following Wednesday.
I always say if you've got a company which suits your background and skill set nearby send your details in and get yourself noticed. I have an extensive background in call centres ranging from front line, inbound, outbound, sales, customer service, training, floor walking and management. On top of that after looking at the web site I found they were branching into financial services which is where I've had my most successful period in my career and got my management experience.
After doing my research on the company I set out to Swansea, a 20 minute walk to the train station followed by a 20 minute train ride into Swansea Central and then a 45 minute walk to Swansea Enterprise Park in pouring rain saw me arrive a good 20 minutes early. I stepped through the door and was greeted by the sound of a massive crash, I turned to my left to see that Hayley the tea girl crashing her trolley trying to exit a lift.
I was shown in to the canteen by the security guard and spent half an hour chatting to staff and other people here for the interview. On chatting to some new starters I found the procedure was a quick one on one interview and then you'd be brought back for a group interview. After fifty minutes I was called into an office by Stephen who I'd spoken to on the phone. I politely listened when he told me about the company and various things I had already found out and a number of things I hadn't. I then told him about myself making sure to focus on my call centre experience, extensive sales background and experience in managing a sales force selling financial services. After five minutes the interview was over and Stephen said he would call me later to schedule a second interview. I made my way home, that evening while playing Mass Effect 2 Stephen called. Apparently they had "sold their available slots" and would contact me in six weeks when they had openings. Needless to say this was disappointing stuff, I had hoped that given my experience it would have been a case of "blimey this candidates good get them in ASAP" however I went to them and knew they weren't recruiting at the moment. As I type this its two weeks on and only four weeks until they start taking people on so its something in the bank if nothing turns up in the mean time.
The next day I had a text from Hays (a recruitment firm) asking me if I was interested in working for Virgin Media in customer service. This offer brought up conflicting emotions, long time readers will know that I'm transgender. A number of years ago I applied for a job at the Virgin Swansea site (when it was NTL), I applied for a job as a Com which is a managerial level job. I interviewed for the job, however on informing them I was trans all of a sudden instead of a Com I was offered a front line job on customer service. It was my second experience of HR and the recruitment industries transphobic attitude and I took the job with the agreement after three months I could re-interview for the Com job. Three months went by and the Com job interview never happened and I left.
After some thought I emailed them saying I was interested, theres no way Virgin could be as bad as NTL so I had little to lose. The following day I had a phone interview which I passed and my in person interview was scheduled for the next Monday at 10:00. However I woke up that morning to see that there had been an explosion at Didcot which had screwed up the Great Western train line. This resulted in me having to run from Swansea Central to Matrix Court. The interview was a one on one in which I had to give examples of certain situations and also put over my experience. I mentioned I'd worked on the site before and went into detail on my call centre experience. On finishing I was told I should hear back later that day, in reality it would be a week until I heard back and that was after I had to politely push them that it had been four days when I was meant to hear back later that day.
The following Monday I was called and told I didn't get the position due to "a lack of experience" which is complete bullshit. As said earlier I have a number of years experience in call centres ranging from front line work, inbound, outbound, sales, customer service, training, floor walking and management. It really knocked me for six, I had done enough to get the post and had the experience. I should be used to this by now as its something the trans community are used to, ie not getting jobs we should walk in to. Sadly the last few years have resulted in me going in and out of Amazon on a temp basis. Hopefully the next application will have a happier outcome.
Friday 24 October 2014
How do you solve a problem like Liverpool?
We're about two months into the season so I thought I'd put my thoughts about Liverpool onto the page. After the exit of Suarez who was by far our best player last season I was expecting a tricky season and its proving to be exactly that. As well as losing Suarez we've looked like we've lost our mojo, we're not playing with the same flair we were last season and are being overpowered by teams and players I wouldn't expect us to. I'm going to take a look at it position by position.
First of all the strikers, Daniel Sturridge is a cracking player who came to us with a point to prove and has proved it well resulting in a strike rate anyone would be proud of. However to me he's a six months a season player, we knew going in he wouldn't always be there and as expected he's got injured a few times. The best compliment I can pay a striker is that he's got us three points when it looks like we'd only get one. I think he's been a cracking player for us but he should be a third choice striker. Brilliant when he comes in and pushing two starters for a place but its squad weakness when a six months a player season is now first choice. I think Brendan should have looked at his fitness record and acted accordingly towards making signings. It has to be said I do rate him but he's only made over 30 appearances in a season twice.
Mario Balotelli, I won't beat around the bush, I want this move to work. However he's playing bloody awful at the moment and is not the player who got 14 league goals in an average AC Milan side last season. He isn't using his pace, his shots are weak and forget not doing what Suarez does well Mario isn't doing what he does well. Considering the effect he's currently having on our game I say stick him in the reserves until he's worked through whatever his problem is. In all honesty I'd rather have him as someone pushing two established strikers for a place and not a starter.
Ricky Lambert, I viewed him as a squad purchase for the cups and to bring on in the final fifteen minutes. A good pro in the lower leagues with two decent premiership seasons, however given form and fitness the question has to be asked why has he been bought if he isn't going to be used.
Fabio Borini, yes it looked like he was going and the club was happy but the fact is he refused to move and is here to fight for his place. I want to see the Borini of his loan spell to Roma where he looked like he could set the world alight. However that was two and a bit seasons ago and he's shown no sight of that form since. He showed he could do a job for Sunderland but hasn't shown anything in his cameos so far this season. I wanted him to work for us but it looks like it wont happen and he's now a fourth choice striker and looking like he will be moved on in January unless he breaks into the first team and does something.
In short the striker situation at the club is dire, ladies and gentle readers we have ourselves two 3rd choice strikers and two 4th choice strikers.The only short term solution imo is to play Lambert, he's the only one of our strikers not crocked or in bad form. Long term Origi will be arriving next season, I can't see Aspas coming back, I think Borini will be gone and its a case of getting Sturridge fit and Balotelli interested. That means bringing in at least one striker and if Balotelli doesn't work out two.
We move onto the midfield, which in this bloggers opinion is where the major strength of our squad is at the moment. We have pace, skill and a strong passing ethic however we do have certain weaknesses, we're lacking a proper "bully" player who can rough the opposition up, win the ball and break down attacks. In short when we're attacking we look fantastic but when the opposition have run at us this season we've looked like headless chickens. I have a pet theory as to why and will address this player by player.
Jordan Henderson is vastly underrated despite being vice captain and lynch pin of our midfield. He tracks back, goes forward, creates chances and is rarely not an influence on the game. However so far this season he hasn't reached the heights of last year but as the adage goes form is temporary. As an aside he's completely changed from the player who arrived and has shown himself unafraid to adapt to different systems.
Philippe Coutinho, the little magician! I can't believe its less than two years since he arrived. A gem of a find arriving in January 2013 he's fast become one of the first names on the team sheet. He can play in the front three and secondary three, he has an eye for a chance and pace to burn. He's also yet to find last seasons form however has had his moments.
Adam Lallana, has looked decent since arriving finding his feet after the move and an early injury but the jury's still out on weather he improves us or will be another body for the squad.
Raheem Stirling, bags of pace and a good old style winger to throw at the opposition and watch them panic. I think Stirlings improved this season already, he looks like he's spent time in the gym bulking up and isn't being thrown off the ball as easily as he used to. He gets a thumbs up from me.
Joe Allen, coming back into the starting team after an injury Allen has looked fine in his appearance so far. Adding to his game in the last year or so he's ventured into the the oppositions box more often and is a player who does the little things the casual observer doesn't notice.
Lucas, I'm aware that he's a cult favourite but I think its time for Lucas to move on. He's still only 27 and is capable of finding a spot elsewhere but in recent seasons he's become known for giving away daft free kicks and picking up dafter bookings. I don't think he's a viable option for defensive midfield and I think its time he left.
Emre Can I'm aware of from last season where he was brilliant for Leverksen. I expect him to play more and more in the defensive position as the season goes on, in particular against Madrid when he came on all of a sudden Madrid weren't getting the time and space they had previously.
Of the youngsters like Suso, Rossiter, Markovic and co I've liked what I've seen and despite knowing most are for the future would like to see more of them hopefully this season.
Steven Gerrard, right I'm going to say off the bat most people reading this aren't going to like what I say about Gerrard. Yes he's been a club talisman whose performances and goals have done wonders for us over the years. However there is a cardinal sin in football; getting old. I've cheered him, commiserated him and laughed with him as he's gone through the seasons with us. However the facts are that Gerrard is currently playing in defensive midfield because it was getting to stage where he was disrupting our attacks. When the opposition have the ball they run through our midfield - he wasn't able to always do much about it last year and he's doing even less this year. In particular Jordan Henderson spends a shocking amount of time covering for Gerrard when he's out of position - incidentally if you haven't noticed this you will now not be able to unsee it. We moved Gerrard back because he became a problem. He's become a problem again and we need to solve it, without Suarez we aren't going to be able to score enough goals this season to compensate for it.
In short we're good in midfield going forward but crap when the opposition has the ball. When Brendan joined us he had a decision with Gerrard, either get rid of him or manage the end of a club legends career. Brendan its time to start phasing Stevie out of the team, personally I'd say start rotating him with Can. This problem has been evident for a season and we need to fix it.
We move on to defence and if you think the above was brutal I'm pulling no punches here. Lets face it, we're talking about our weakness.
Glen Johnson is a major weakness, he is one of life's coasters. He'll put in a good performances then spend a few weeks living of it before he can be bothered putting in another. I'm relieved by our full back purchases this summer as hopefully they will push him for a place and then displace him. I say move him on and if he wants to sit his contract out force him out on loan as I don't want his attitude in the training ground.
Dejan Lovren, he's only just arrived after a good previous season but he looks nervous. He needs to stop running around like a headless chicken and run the defensive unit. Its worth noting that considering the amount of starts he's had it looks like Brendan views him as a mainstay of our starting team.
Martin Skrtel, I've said for years the man is a walking disaster zone. I've lost count of the amount of cock ups people are willing to overlook and I'm getting sick of it. He only seems to play well when he has someone forceful to order him around, he's a foot soldier not a general. One of my major criticisms of him was his fitness which he has improved in the last few seasons. But he just hasn't got a footballing brain, he gets himself out of position constantly and as I've said for years his set piece play is a joke. He needs moving on.
Jose Enrique, a decent pro, a good little player, by no means a certain starter and will be in and out depending on form. Due to his injury last year his arrival back in the squad feels like a new signing.
Sakho, a beast when fit but only 19 games last year along with being in and out when fit this season tells a story. Personally I think he's looked well with Lovren but he needs to stay fit as we don't need another "sick note" like Daniel Agger.
Moreno & Manquillo have impressed me and improved the squad, still early days but a good start is a good start. Kolo Toure is good cover for the central defenders, he had some high profile ricks last season but if he's played along someone who can play around his lack of pace there is a spot for him in the squad.
Brad Jones is too soft to be a realistic option as a goalie, if he moves like a spice-boy and acts like a spice-boy he's a spice-boy.
Simon Mignolet, lets not beat around the bush Pepe Reina was big boots to fill. I went into last season accepting Mignolet would have different strengths to Pepe and to get behind him. Hell saving a penalty in your first game is a cracking start. But after a season I've come to the conclusion he's not up to scratch, his distribution is awful, he lets in goals I expect him to say and the one thing I personally can never forgive from a keeper is timidness. He has the air of a librarian and reminds me of Sander Westerveld or Juventus era Edwin van der Sar. That third goal against Madrid being a case in point of what I'm talking about.
In short ship out Skrtel, Johnson, Mignolet and Jones. Get whoever built the 6 Billion Dollar Man to fix Sakho and replace accordingly.
This has very much been me in a bad mood being highly critical of the team who I'll be cheering on next time the whistle blows. Its worth noting that despite playing some ruddy awful stuff we're not doing to bad in the league and in with a shot of getting out of our European Cup group (I will never call it the Champions League) so imagine what we'll be doing when we start playing well.
I'll certainly raise a toast to that future...
First of all the strikers, Daniel Sturridge is a cracking player who came to us with a point to prove and has proved it well resulting in a strike rate anyone would be proud of. However to me he's a six months a season player, we knew going in he wouldn't always be there and as expected he's got injured a few times. The best compliment I can pay a striker is that he's got us three points when it looks like we'd only get one. I think he's been a cracking player for us but he should be a third choice striker. Brilliant when he comes in and pushing two starters for a place but its squad weakness when a six months a player season is now first choice. I think Brendan should have looked at his fitness record and acted accordingly towards making signings. It has to be said I do rate him but he's only made over 30 appearances in a season twice.
Mario Balotelli, I won't beat around the bush, I want this move to work. However he's playing bloody awful at the moment and is not the player who got 14 league goals in an average AC Milan side last season. He isn't using his pace, his shots are weak and forget not doing what Suarez does well Mario isn't doing what he does well. Considering the effect he's currently having on our game I say stick him in the reserves until he's worked through whatever his problem is. In all honesty I'd rather have him as someone pushing two established strikers for a place and not a starter.
Ricky Lambert, I viewed him as a squad purchase for the cups and to bring on in the final fifteen minutes. A good pro in the lower leagues with two decent premiership seasons, however given form and fitness the question has to be asked why has he been bought if he isn't going to be used.
Fabio Borini, yes it looked like he was going and the club was happy but the fact is he refused to move and is here to fight for his place. I want to see the Borini of his loan spell to Roma where he looked like he could set the world alight. However that was two and a bit seasons ago and he's shown no sight of that form since. He showed he could do a job for Sunderland but hasn't shown anything in his cameos so far this season. I wanted him to work for us but it looks like it wont happen and he's now a fourth choice striker and looking like he will be moved on in January unless he breaks into the first team and does something.
In short the striker situation at the club is dire, ladies and gentle readers we have ourselves two 3rd choice strikers and two 4th choice strikers.The only short term solution imo is to play Lambert, he's the only one of our strikers not crocked or in bad form. Long term Origi will be arriving next season, I can't see Aspas coming back, I think Borini will be gone and its a case of getting Sturridge fit and Balotelli interested. That means bringing in at least one striker and if Balotelli doesn't work out two.
We move onto the midfield, which in this bloggers opinion is where the major strength of our squad is at the moment. We have pace, skill and a strong passing ethic however we do have certain weaknesses, we're lacking a proper "bully" player who can rough the opposition up, win the ball and break down attacks. In short when we're attacking we look fantastic but when the opposition have run at us this season we've looked like headless chickens. I have a pet theory as to why and will address this player by player.
Jordan Henderson is vastly underrated despite being vice captain and lynch pin of our midfield. He tracks back, goes forward, creates chances and is rarely not an influence on the game. However so far this season he hasn't reached the heights of last year but as the adage goes form is temporary. As an aside he's completely changed from the player who arrived and has shown himself unafraid to adapt to different systems.
Philippe Coutinho, the little magician! I can't believe its less than two years since he arrived. A gem of a find arriving in January 2013 he's fast become one of the first names on the team sheet. He can play in the front three and secondary three, he has an eye for a chance and pace to burn. He's also yet to find last seasons form however has had his moments.
Adam Lallana, has looked decent since arriving finding his feet after the move and an early injury but the jury's still out on weather he improves us or will be another body for the squad.
Raheem Stirling, bags of pace and a good old style winger to throw at the opposition and watch them panic. I think Stirlings improved this season already, he looks like he's spent time in the gym bulking up and isn't being thrown off the ball as easily as he used to. He gets a thumbs up from me.
Joe Allen, coming back into the starting team after an injury Allen has looked fine in his appearance so far. Adding to his game in the last year or so he's ventured into the the oppositions box more often and is a player who does the little things the casual observer doesn't notice.
Lucas, I'm aware that he's a cult favourite but I think its time for Lucas to move on. He's still only 27 and is capable of finding a spot elsewhere but in recent seasons he's become known for giving away daft free kicks and picking up dafter bookings. I don't think he's a viable option for defensive midfield and I think its time he left.
Emre Can I'm aware of from last season where he was brilliant for Leverksen. I expect him to play more and more in the defensive position as the season goes on, in particular against Madrid when he came on all of a sudden Madrid weren't getting the time and space they had previously.
Of the youngsters like Suso, Rossiter, Markovic and co I've liked what I've seen and despite knowing most are for the future would like to see more of them hopefully this season.
Steven Gerrard, right I'm going to say off the bat most people reading this aren't going to like what I say about Gerrard. Yes he's been a club talisman whose performances and goals have done wonders for us over the years. However there is a cardinal sin in football; getting old. I've cheered him, commiserated him and laughed with him as he's gone through the seasons with us. However the facts are that Gerrard is currently playing in defensive midfield because it was getting to stage where he was disrupting our attacks. When the opposition have the ball they run through our midfield - he wasn't able to always do much about it last year and he's doing even less this year. In particular Jordan Henderson spends a shocking amount of time covering for Gerrard when he's out of position - incidentally if you haven't noticed this you will now not be able to unsee it. We moved Gerrard back because he became a problem. He's become a problem again and we need to solve it, without Suarez we aren't going to be able to score enough goals this season to compensate for it.
In short we're good in midfield going forward but crap when the opposition has the ball. When Brendan joined us he had a decision with Gerrard, either get rid of him or manage the end of a club legends career. Brendan its time to start phasing Stevie out of the team, personally I'd say start rotating him with Can. This problem has been evident for a season and we need to fix it.
We move on to defence and if you think the above was brutal I'm pulling no punches here. Lets face it, we're talking about our weakness.
Glen Johnson is a major weakness, he is one of life's coasters. He'll put in a good performances then spend a few weeks living of it before he can be bothered putting in another. I'm relieved by our full back purchases this summer as hopefully they will push him for a place and then displace him. I say move him on and if he wants to sit his contract out force him out on loan as I don't want his attitude in the training ground.
Dejan Lovren, he's only just arrived after a good previous season but he looks nervous. He needs to stop running around like a headless chicken and run the defensive unit. Its worth noting that considering the amount of starts he's had it looks like Brendan views him as a mainstay of our starting team.
Martin Skrtel, I've said for years the man is a walking disaster zone. I've lost count of the amount of cock ups people are willing to overlook and I'm getting sick of it. He only seems to play well when he has someone forceful to order him around, he's a foot soldier not a general. One of my major criticisms of him was his fitness which he has improved in the last few seasons. But he just hasn't got a footballing brain, he gets himself out of position constantly and as I've said for years his set piece play is a joke. He needs moving on.
Jose Enrique, a decent pro, a good little player, by no means a certain starter and will be in and out depending on form. Due to his injury last year his arrival back in the squad feels like a new signing.
Sakho, a beast when fit but only 19 games last year along with being in and out when fit this season tells a story. Personally I think he's looked well with Lovren but he needs to stay fit as we don't need another "sick note" like Daniel Agger.
Moreno & Manquillo have impressed me and improved the squad, still early days but a good start is a good start. Kolo Toure is good cover for the central defenders, he had some high profile ricks last season but if he's played along someone who can play around his lack of pace there is a spot for him in the squad.
Brad Jones is too soft to be a realistic option as a goalie, if he moves like a spice-boy and acts like a spice-boy he's a spice-boy.
Simon Mignolet, lets not beat around the bush Pepe Reina was big boots to fill. I went into last season accepting Mignolet would have different strengths to Pepe and to get behind him. Hell saving a penalty in your first game is a cracking start. But after a season I've come to the conclusion he's not up to scratch, his distribution is awful, he lets in goals I expect him to say and the one thing I personally can never forgive from a keeper is timidness. He has the air of a librarian and reminds me of Sander Westerveld or Juventus era Edwin van der Sar. That third goal against Madrid being a case in point of what I'm talking about.
In short ship out Skrtel, Johnson, Mignolet and Jones. Get whoever built the 6 Billion Dollar Man to fix Sakho and replace accordingly.
This has very much been me in a bad mood being highly critical of the team who I'll be cheering on next time the whistle blows. Its worth noting that despite playing some ruddy awful stuff we're not doing to bad in the league and in with a shot of getting out of our European Cup group (I will never call it the Champions League) so imagine what we'll be doing when we start playing well.
I'll certainly raise a toast to that future...
Friday 17 October 2014
Don't Believe the Hyper Market
Hello ladies and gentle readers, its time for another exclusive on the Innocuous Bystander. Earlier in the year I sent off a spec script to the BBC for a sitcom based in a Doncaster Cash and Carry starring Chuck D from Public Enemy, Jamie aka @jtlovell1979 off of twitter and Lisa Gifford best known for the Threesome web series. Sadly the project stalled in production and nothing came of it, however after heavy negotiations and the offer of a twix the BBC have given me permission to post on this blog an excerpt of the script. So without further ado I give you:
Don't Believe the Hyper Market
Starring:
Chuck D as himself
Lisa Gifford as Miss Kolmekesi
Jamie as himself
Jasper the dog as himself
Nancy the rabbit as herself
Fiona Bruce as Hot Woman from space
Dr Dre as himself
[Interior of hypermarket Jamie stood manning the check out and Chuck D is price labelling tins of spam]
Chuck: Yo Jamie its nearly the end of shift, you do doing anything this weekend?
Jamie: No plans how about you?
Chuck: I'm gonna drop da bomb!
Jamie: On second thoughts I might be heading out of town.
[In walks Miss Kilmekesi with a suitcase handcuffed to arm]
Kilmekessi: Boys I'm heading to the bank with the days takings, Chuck I want you to out to the loading bay and help with the delivery of Orioles.
Chuck: You got it boss, it'll take more than a truck load of Orioles to hold me back.
[Chuck exits]
Kilmekessi: Now Jamie, one of our biggest customers Doctor Dre will be hear soon to collect his bulk order of wagon wheels. Whatever you do don't leave the checkout area.
Jamie: Don't worry Miss Kilmekessi I wont let you down.
Kilmekessi: Remember last week when you wandered off after finding that treasure map?
Jamie: That was a one off Miss Kilmekessi and on the bright side I did find that store of ice cream.
Kilmekessi: Jamie, just make sure you don't wander off. We need this business and if Doctor Dre doesn't get his wagon wheels we could have another East/West coast war at our branch.
Jamie: Yes, I remember the last time it kicked off between those rappers from Great Yarmouth and Aberystwyth.
Kilmekessi: Just remember, don't leave the till.
[Kilmekessi exits, leaving Jamie determined to man the till and not let her down]
[In runs Jasper the dog barking excitedly]
Jamie: Hello Jasper whats wrong?
Jasper: Woof.
Jamie: Whats that?
Jasper: Woof!
Jamie: Oh my, little Tinie has fallen down a well? This is an emergency I'd better make a phone call. [Pulls phone out of pocket and dials] Hello, Craid David? Tinie Temper has fallen down a well, can you cover his shift tomorrow? You can? Great! Panic averted Jasper you better head home now.
[Jasper leaves]
[Nancy the rabbit enters]
Nancy: Hi Jamie, do you have any frazzles?
Jamie: Third isle half way down on the left.
[Nancy hops down and hops back with a carton of frazzles]
Jamie: That's a lot of frazzles.
Nancy: I'm going to a "bring your own frazzles party" fancy knocking off early and joining me?
Jamie: Sorry I'm busy.
Nancy: But theres no one else hear...
Jamie: I know but I've got to hang about waiting for Doctor Dre to pick up his wagon wheels.
Nancy: Alright, stay if you must but lets not turn this into a reason to tweet passive aggressively about rabbits.
[Nancy exits]
Jamie: Damn, I've never been to a "bunny bring your own frazzles" party, the sacrifices I make for this job...
[In walks a woman wearing a 1970's style scifi costume]
Jamie: Hi can I interest you in our 2 for 1 offer on Britvic?
Hot Woman from space: Hello human I am looking for a male member of your species to take back to my home world and perform experiments of great pleasure on him.
Jamie: [To himself] This is getting ridiculous.
Hot Woman from space: Would you like to come back to my home planet human?
Jamie: I can't I've got to wait here for Doctor Dre to collect his wagon wheels or the whole of Doncaster could be devastated by a rapping war between Great Yarmouth and Aberystwyth. You'd best try and pick up one of the drunks in Berlins down the road...
[Hot Woman from space leaves]
[A few seconds go bye and back in runs Jasper barking hysterically]
Jamie: Whats that Jasper?
Jasper: Woof! Woof! Woof!
Jamie: Whats that? Some hooligans are vandalising my wheelie bin? I'll soon put a stop to that!
[Jamie and Jasper run out to rescue the wheelie bin leaving the Cash and Carry empty]
[A few seconds later in walks Doctor Dre, he looks around then turns to the camera]
Doctor Dre: Damn, looks like the forgot about Dre...
[Dre exits]
THE END
Amazing as it may seem readers some bureaucratic bod at the BBC decided "Don't Believe the Hyper Market" wasn't what the BBC were looking for. Sadly in this case the biggest loser of all is the Great British Television Viewer. It just goes to show how much greatness doesn't make it in front of the camera, hopefully my other projects such as Sherlock the Kitten, Rob Bob and Dog X-files (I want to retrieve) will have better luck.
Tuesday 14 October 2014
TV Corner - Gotham
For those who don't know last night saw the debut of the much anticipated Gotham made its debut in the UK on Channel 5 last night.
Its very much "Batman: the early years" centering mainly on Batmans associate Jim Gordon this series looks to examine Gordons start as a cop in the city of Gotham as well as establishing how Batman got started as well as some members of his rogue gallery. There were a fair few sightings of Batman characters last night from the well known Jim Gordon. Catwoman and Penguin to the perhaps lesser known Harvey Bullock, Carmine Falcone and Renee Montoya which would no doubt have kept the fan girls and boys happy.
Starting off with a bang we actually got to see a version of the event which created Batman, the mugging and murder of his parents. Complete with the trademark shot of pearls hitting the floor this was an impressive start not only foreshadowing the eventual coming of the Bat but giving Jim Gordon and Harvey Bullock their first case as partners. Ben McKenzie plays Jim Gordon straight as the honest man in a city and police department that is corrupt but the stand out performance for me was Donal Logue as Harvey Bullock who puts in a scene stealing performance. He's clearly the Avon to Gordons Blake and has the makings of a highly quotable character. On the acting front Robin Lord Taylors performance as the Penguin also deserves a mention.
This was a potentially very tricky episode as it had so much to do, establish the story, introduce the characters and give us a story in the episode itself. Everything was handled brilliantly, from cameo appearances and deciding which characters would get screen time to giving us a good solid story to get things started. I like the fact the show started with putting across the mob and corrupt gangster style that is associated with early Gotham. Let the masks and capes come later, I really enjoyed the fact that despite the potential to focus on some super villains this opening episode felt grounded.
I seriously can't recommend this show enough, from the first ten minutes I was hooked and knew I'd be in for the duration. If you missed it try and look out for a repeat as Gotham looks like its going to become must see TV.
Its very much "Batman: the early years" centering mainly on Batmans associate Jim Gordon this series looks to examine Gordons start as a cop in the city of Gotham as well as establishing how Batman got started as well as some members of his rogue gallery. There were a fair few sightings of Batman characters last night from the well known Jim Gordon. Catwoman and Penguin to the perhaps lesser known Harvey Bullock, Carmine Falcone and Renee Montoya which would no doubt have kept the fan girls and boys happy.
Starting off with a bang we actually got to see a version of the event which created Batman, the mugging and murder of his parents. Complete with the trademark shot of pearls hitting the floor this was an impressive start not only foreshadowing the eventual coming of the Bat but giving Jim Gordon and Harvey Bullock their first case as partners. Ben McKenzie plays Jim Gordon straight as the honest man in a city and police department that is corrupt but the stand out performance for me was Donal Logue as Harvey Bullock who puts in a scene stealing performance. He's clearly the Avon to Gordons Blake and has the makings of a highly quotable character. On the acting front Robin Lord Taylors performance as the Penguin also deserves a mention.
This was a potentially very tricky episode as it had so much to do, establish the story, introduce the characters and give us a story in the episode itself. Everything was handled brilliantly, from cameo appearances and deciding which characters would get screen time to giving us a good solid story to get things started. I like the fact the show started with putting across the mob and corrupt gangster style that is associated with early Gotham. Let the masks and capes come later, I really enjoyed the fact that despite the potential to focus on some super villains this opening episode felt grounded.
I seriously can't recommend this show enough, from the first ten minutes I was hooked and knew I'd be in for the duration. If you missed it try and look out for a repeat as Gotham looks like its going to become must see TV.
Thursday 2 October 2014
The Big Finish Catch Up: September 2014
Here's a round up of the Doctor Who audios I listened to during September 2014:
I finally finished off the 'Destiny of the Doctor' range with The Time Machine featuring the 11th Doctor read by Jenna Coleman. A very good timey wimey story and a good little audio book, the villains are very much like the villains from 'The Gallifrey Chronicles.' Very unusual for this range The Doctor is without a companion and we finally find out the reason for 11 popping up in the previous stories. Recommended but bear in mind its a finale to the range and its worth listening to a few of the previous stories before this one.
We get back into the monthly range with Scaredy Cat, featuring the 8th Doctor, Charley and C'rizz. When reviewing these audio's the basic question I have to ask is 'is it any good?' Sadly Scaredy Cat is a huge disappointment, I genuinely feel like nobody involved in the production of this story was bothered. The entire story felt like a plot outline not a script, guest characters felt only partly sketched out, ideas and scenes feel incomplete. I got to the end of the story and my reaction was 'is that it?' On checking the lights an hour and a bit had gone by, its worth remembering this is a double CD. Very much a disappointment and when I come to judge it against other releases I have to place it near the bottom. Also of note the plot line that looked to be being set up in Terror Firma with C'rizz is actually followed up on in a scene but I'm scratching for something positive to say. Also of note Arthur Bostrom who played Officer Crabtree in 'Allo 'Allo is in the guest cast.
Now this is more like it, we nip ahead in the monthly range as I got this in a recent Big Finish sale (subscribers get more). 'The Destroyer of Delights' is the second part in 'The Key 2 Time' trilogy I heard the first part having got it in a sale last year (I had no idea it was a trilogy hence the long wait to hear this one) and had been looking forward to this for some time. Featuring the 5th Doctor and Amy played by Peter Davison and Ciara Johnson it features David Troughton and Jason Watkins among the guest cast. One thing I love about Big Finish is when they decide to have some fun and this is an absolute fun romp, I fully expect I spent the entire audio with a smile on my face. The central plot is that one part of the key to time is so well hidden no one has been able to find it and as the characters move around the play with the various plans and schemes the central mystery of whereabouts of the key segment is handled brilliantly. This is the most fun I've had experiencing a Doctor Who story for the first time in ages, highly recommended as is the first part of the trilogy.
I finally finished off the 'Destiny of the Doctor' range with The Time Machine featuring the 11th Doctor read by Jenna Coleman. A very good timey wimey story and a good little audio book, the villains are very much like the villains from 'The Gallifrey Chronicles.' Very unusual for this range The Doctor is without a companion and we finally find out the reason for 11 popping up in the previous stories. Recommended but bear in mind its a finale to the range and its worth listening to a few of the previous stories before this one.
We get back into the monthly range with Scaredy Cat, featuring the 8th Doctor, Charley and C'rizz. When reviewing these audio's the basic question I have to ask is 'is it any good?' Sadly Scaredy Cat is a huge disappointment, I genuinely feel like nobody involved in the production of this story was bothered. The entire story felt like a plot outline not a script, guest characters felt only partly sketched out, ideas and scenes feel incomplete. I got to the end of the story and my reaction was 'is that it?' On checking the lights an hour and a bit had gone by, its worth remembering this is a double CD. Very much a disappointment and when I come to judge it against other releases I have to place it near the bottom. Also of note the plot line that looked to be being set up in Terror Firma with C'rizz is actually followed up on in a scene but I'm scratching for something positive to say. Also of note Arthur Bostrom who played Officer Crabtree in 'Allo 'Allo is in the guest cast.
Now this is more like it, we nip ahead in the monthly range as I got this in a recent Big Finish sale (subscribers get more). 'The Destroyer of Delights' is the second part in 'The Key 2 Time' trilogy I heard the first part having got it in a sale last year (I had no idea it was a trilogy hence the long wait to hear this one) and had been looking forward to this for some time. Featuring the 5th Doctor and Amy played by Peter Davison and Ciara Johnson it features David Troughton and Jason Watkins among the guest cast. One thing I love about Big Finish is when they decide to have some fun and this is an absolute fun romp, I fully expect I spent the entire audio with a smile on my face. The central plot is that one part of the key to time is so well hidden no one has been able to find it and as the characters move around the play with the various plans and schemes the central mystery of whereabouts of the key segment is handled brilliantly. This is the most fun I've had experiencing a Doctor Who story for the first time in ages, highly recommended as is the first part of the trilogy.
Monday 29 September 2014
Who will replace Jason Orange in Take That?
Ladies and gentle readers, it can't have escaped your attention that over the last week Jason Orange has announced that he is leaving Take That. Sadly as a result this happened:
Fortunately for Boy Band fans of the land Gary Barlow has been on the phone to yours truly and asked me to put together a short list for replacements. I can exclusively reveal the contenders that I have provided for Gary to consider:
1. Nick Clegg
What Take That need is someone to hover in the background trying but failing to look impressive as he is overshadowed by the bigger personalities.
2. Bruce Forsythe
Its a fact of life that Take That have been going since the early 90's and as a result their fanbase has started to age. Why not bite the bullet and recruit a member to appeal to the blue rinse section of the Take Thaters? Also he's available after retiring from Strictly Come Prancing.
3. Starscream from the Decepticons
This would be an appointment to keep Gary Barlow on his toes, Gary as we all know has long been the leader of Take That and has had an easy ride since Robbie Williams mellowed. Why not recruit Starscream who was forever plotting to overthrow Megatron and take control of the Decepticons? It will certainly be more interesting for us non Take That fans to watch the internal politics as Starscream tries to recruit Mark Owen and the other one to his way of thinking.
4. Luis Suarez
Lets be honest who cares about Barcelona these days? No one thats who, Luis left Liverpool FC and quite frankly its going to be all downhill for the rest of his career. What he needs is to leave football and take his career in a new direction. He already has a fanbase that be can bring to Take That and can hopefully help them crack the lucrative South America market.
5. @fudgecrumpet off of twitter
Lets be honest in the world of Boy Bands its all about selling sex appeal and no body likes to flaunt their funky stuff on twitter more than @fudgecrumpet. Don't go trying to look for anyone sexier on social media because you wont find them.
6. WALL-E
One for the kids, WALL-E starred in a hit film for Disney a few years back and was a hit with the kids. WALL-E hasn't done much since then but is still a favourite with the kids, WALL-E has the potential to attract a third generation of Take That fans and help swell Gary Barlows offshore accounts for another decade.
Well readers, all I can do is pass this list along to Gary Barlow and wait to see what he makes of it. We will have to wait to see who of the above will be having knickers flung at them by the women of the nation at Take Thats next tour...
Tuesday 23 September 2014
The Scottish Referendum by Brian Taylor aka @TannadiceLad
Ladies and gentle readers, you can say a lot about this blog but after today you'll never be able to say it never gives you exclusives. Twitters voice of the Scottish referendum Brian Taylor has agreed to ghost write this very blog where he will give his exclusive opinions on the result and what it means for Scotlands future. Without further ado I hand you over to @TannadiceLad:
Well I can certainly say Brian has certainly given us a lot to think about and I'd like to thank him for his time for ghost writing this weeks blog. I for one will be having a long hard think after reading the above and will be back next week.
Well I can certainly say Brian has certainly given us a lot to think about and I'd like to thank him for his time for ghost writing this weeks blog. I for one will be having a long hard think after reading the above and will be back next week.
Tuesday 16 September 2014
Clara Oswald "You're one of my hobbies"
Ladies and gentle readers I can't speak for you but I've been enjoying the recent series of Doctor Who, enjoying it very much. However I've been taken aback by the casualness of Clara about travelling in the TARDIS and her wish to carry on her life and her 9-5 career while travelling in time. I asked myself "is this normal?" Well lets have a look:
The first line up of companions included school teachers (at Coal Hill School) Barbara and Ian. They started travelling with The Doctor by accident and the narrative of the first two years was The Doctor trying to get them home. The TARDIS in the early years of the show was unsteerable so this took longer than modern day viewers expected. As well as wanting to get home rather than lark about in time a lot of their stories involved them trying to get back to "the ship" to escape their current predicament. Also in one notable case they we're actually kept out of the TARDIS and blackmailed to search for the Keys of Marinus when they had planned on leaving in episode one. So straight away that's two companions who never cared for travelling and wanted to get home asap.
For a few years the companions would by and large enjoy their time in the TARDIS however a number of modern day companions Dodo, Ben and Polly would take advantage of the TARDIS arriving back in the modern day to say their goodbyes to The Doctor and depart.
We now wonder into a unique area in this category as during Jon Pertwees time we actually have UNIT and arguably a full guest cast who played characters whose job it was to be companions. Liz would leave due to wanting to go back to her career in Cambridge and Jo would leave her job with The Doctor when she fell in love. For these two (and arguably The Brig who is only off duty during later appearances) being a companion was an actual job which fitted into their lives.
Sarah would continue her career as an investigative journalist when travelling with the Doctor and Harry had a bit of fun (albeit he didn't know what he was getting into) but firmly departed to continue his life and work when Tom Baker arrived back in the modern day.
Tegan would eventually throw herself into travelling with The Doctor but remember the ongoing story of season 19 is The Doctor trying to get her to Heathrow for her first day at work.
Where things really take a turn is with Rose, The Doctor is now firmly able to control the TARDIS and as a result she's able to travel in time and keep in close contact with her family and friends. As would Martha and Donna.
Things turn a tad more homely when we get to Amy and Rory, akin to the Third Doctor companions they are able to travel, continue their lives, their careers and get married while travelling.
What conclusion does this bring me to? Well looking objectively a number of companions over the years wanted to continue on with their lives and were unable to because of The Doctor being unable to steer the TARDIS. Once we get to a more steerable TARDIS the companions who don't want to dedicate 100% of their time to The Doctor are able to strike up a time travel / life balance. Clara is by and large the companion whose balance has had the most of her life in it but rather than making her unique theres a case for saying this is the logical evolution of a companion and perhaps we'll see a further swing in this direction with future companions.
The first line up of companions included school teachers (at Coal Hill School) Barbara and Ian. They started travelling with The Doctor by accident and the narrative of the first two years was The Doctor trying to get them home. The TARDIS in the early years of the show was unsteerable so this took longer than modern day viewers expected. As well as wanting to get home rather than lark about in time a lot of their stories involved them trying to get back to "the ship" to escape their current predicament. Also in one notable case they we're actually kept out of the TARDIS and blackmailed to search for the Keys of Marinus when they had planned on leaving in episode one. So straight away that's two companions who never cared for travelling and wanted to get home asap.
For a few years the companions would by and large enjoy their time in the TARDIS however a number of modern day companions Dodo, Ben and Polly would take advantage of the TARDIS arriving back in the modern day to say their goodbyes to The Doctor and depart.
We now wonder into a unique area in this category as during Jon Pertwees time we actually have UNIT and arguably a full guest cast who played characters whose job it was to be companions. Liz would leave due to wanting to go back to her career in Cambridge and Jo would leave her job with The Doctor when she fell in love. For these two (and arguably The Brig who is only off duty during later appearances) being a companion was an actual job which fitted into their lives.
Sarah would continue her career as an investigative journalist when travelling with the Doctor and Harry had a bit of fun (albeit he didn't know what he was getting into) but firmly departed to continue his life and work when Tom Baker arrived back in the modern day.
Tegan would eventually throw herself into travelling with The Doctor but remember the ongoing story of season 19 is The Doctor trying to get her to Heathrow for her first day at work.
Where things really take a turn is with Rose, The Doctor is now firmly able to control the TARDIS and as a result she's able to travel in time and keep in close contact with her family and friends. As would Martha and Donna.
Things turn a tad more homely when we get to Amy and Rory, akin to the Third Doctor companions they are able to travel, continue their lives, their careers and get married while travelling.
What conclusion does this bring me to? Well looking objectively a number of companions over the years wanted to continue on with their lives and were unable to because of The Doctor being unable to steer the TARDIS. Once we get to a more steerable TARDIS the companions who don't want to dedicate 100% of their time to The Doctor are able to strike up a time travel / life balance. Clara is by and large the companion whose balance has had the most of her life in it but rather than making her unique theres a case for saying this is the logical evolution of a companion and perhaps we'll see a further swing in this direction with future companions.
Tuesday 9 September 2014
The Amazon.com Chronicles (Part 1)
Regular readers of this blog will be aware that over the last few years I have been working for the Internet retailer Amazon.com. I say "work" but I use the term loosely its far more accurate to say I have had the piss taken out of me by Amazon and the various agencies who have employed me. It looks as though my time at Amazon has finally come to an end and my overwhelming feelings are relief and disappointment that four years of my professional life have been wasted.
I started at Amazon in October 2010, my career had gone into a few dead ends and I was anxious to kick start it and a world wide company like Amazon looked as good a place as any. A day examining the company and career section of its website showed it had openings in areas I was experienced in and they were doing things I'd like to do. My aim was to get in the door and start applying for jobs of which I had experience to work myself back up the career ladder.
I applied for a job at Amazons Fulfilment Centre in Swansea via an agency called Quest Recruitment. I did the required drugs and aptitude test and a week later they called back offering me the position of a picker. My job would be to collect items that customers had ordered via the website. Each team had an area manager (strangely mine was a temp) and some team leaders, there were also site reps on site to represent you on behalf of the agencies. I informed the area manager and site reps that I would like to be kept aware of any job opportunities on site as I was hoping to use this job as a stepping stone. Every week the site rep would come around with each persons score and give you a form with your stats on. Mine were quite good, often between 100% and 110% dipping down as low as 85% sometimes when there wasn't much work or I was injured. For those of you who can't remember winter 2010 was quite a cold one and at one point in South Wales public transport went down and I had to walk to work, during which I slipped and fell down the footbridge going over the roundabout just before Briton Ferry bridge and did my knee in. I was still able to complete my shift and fulfil my contracted hours.
One day I was going along doing a batch of orders in the pick tower and a chap walks up and stops me. He says he's an operations manager and my area manager has just informed in that my poor scores were bringing his teams scores down and that I should pull my finger out if I didn't want to be sacked at the end of the day. I informed him that my scores were over target for this and the previous few weeks and he walked off. I had a word with my site rep and said if my area manager was going to senior management telling them I had poor scores I wanted him reported to HR. (I couldn't go to HR as HR "do not handle temps") Then the following week I was called back to the pick desk with 10 other people for the area manager to give us a "pep talk." He gave everyone their score except me and us we had to improve, I asked for my score and he said 97%. Out of everyone else in that group the highest score anyone else had was 46%. I then asked why I was included in this group and his reply was "you all started at the same time and as a group are low scoring trouble makers." I immediately told the site rep to sort this guy out.
Anyway around this time the Christmas period ended and we moved into January, also the work started to dry up and lay offs happened. In the first week of January everyone else in that "pep talk" group was laid off and we were regularly sent home after 15 minutes of work (shifts rotated weekly between starting at 6AM or 2PM). On the 17th of January I was called down to the pick desk, the area manager told me when I arrived that I was being taken on as a permanent associate and congratulated me. I was well chuffed, I thought to myself "that's stage one dealt with lets get onto stage two and hopefully get my career back on track". A few hours later I had another message on my gun, with half an hour on the shift to go I was called back to the pick desk. The area manager had gone and all that was there was a team lead and cart runner. The team lead took my gun off me and said I was to wait in the drop zone for everyone else, I asked the cart runner what was happening and he said "your going to see HR." I thought, blimey that's quick, I'm going to be signing the forms and transferred from Quest to Amazon before the end of the shift. Myself and a few others then went up to a room in HR where we met some others from other departments. A HR officer then walked in and informed us we were being laid off as the early months of they year were traditionally quiet and the Christmas peak rush was over.
Needless to say I was pissed off, I informed them I had been told three hours previously I was being made permanent. The HR officer said I must have misunderstood what my area manager had told me, I informed her that I had been using the English language since moving on from baby talk and demanded to make an official complaint about my area manager and for him to be sacked. She said she couldn't do anything and that I should handle this via my Agency, now at this point I should say every other agency bar mine was present and as we were being made to clear our lockers and leave I had no way of getting to the agency desk on the Fulfilment Centre floor. The next day visited the Quest Recruitment Swansea branch, they said they couldn't do anything about my area manager as technically I wasn't an active associate on the Amazon contract anymore, however I did opt to put my name on the rehire list for when things started getting busy on the site.
If you'll indulge me ladies and gentle readers I'm now going to fiddle with the narrative. I would come back later in the year and the area manager not only was still there but had now been made permanent. I was told I couldn't make a formal complaint as six months had gone by. However the area manager (one Andrew Evans) wouldn't last long, it turned out his agency and Amazon hadn't performed a thorough background search on him and out of the blue Amazon would get a call from a newspaper asking about this:
http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Dodgy-family-firms-preyed-customers/story-16819547-detail/story.html
It turns out that Andrew Evans had neglected to inform his employer that he had been done for fraud. Now I'm often one to give people the benefit of the doubt but I have to ask how a vindictive sicko who had tried to con vulnerable pensioners out of their savings can be put into a supervisory position without a background check being performed. Needless to say many complaints from temps had been made against him but they were all fobbed off. However when finding out about the above court case he was thrown out so fast his feet never touched the ground.
Well that's the story of my first stint with Amazon, I'll cover the rest of my time there at a later date.
I started at Amazon in October 2010, my career had gone into a few dead ends and I was anxious to kick start it and a world wide company like Amazon looked as good a place as any. A day examining the company and career section of its website showed it had openings in areas I was experienced in and they were doing things I'd like to do. My aim was to get in the door and start applying for jobs of which I had experience to work myself back up the career ladder.
I applied for a job at Amazons Fulfilment Centre in Swansea via an agency called Quest Recruitment. I did the required drugs and aptitude test and a week later they called back offering me the position of a picker. My job would be to collect items that customers had ordered via the website. Each team had an area manager (strangely mine was a temp) and some team leaders, there were also site reps on site to represent you on behalf of the agencies. I informed the area manager and site reps that I would like to be kept aware of any job opportunities on site as I was hoping to use this job as a stepping stone. Every week the site rep would come around with each persons score and give you a form with your stats on. Mine were quite good, often between 100% and 110% dipping down as low as 85% sometimes when there wasn't much work or I was injured. For those of you who can't remember winter 2010 was quite a cold one and at one point in South Wales public transport went down and I had to walk to work, during which I slipped and fell down the footbridge going over the roundabout just before Briton Ferry bridge and did my knee in. I was still able to complete my shift and fulfil my contracted hours.
One day I was going along doing a batch of orders in the pick tower and a chap walks up and stops me. He says he's an operations manager and my area manager has just informed in that my poor scores were bringing his teams scores down and that I should pull my finger out if I didn't want to be sacked at the end of the day. I informed him that my scores were over target for this and the previous few weeks and he walked off. I had a word with my site rep and said if my area manager was going to senior management telling them I had poor scores I wanted him reported to HR. (I couldn't go to HR as HR "do not handle temps") Then the following week I was called back to the pick desk with 10 other people for the area manager to give us a "pep talk." He gave everyone their score except me and us we had to improve, I asked for my score and he said 97%. Out of everyone else in that group the highest score anyone else had was 46%. I then asked why I was included in this group and his reply was "you all started at the same time and as a group are low scoring trouble makers." I immediately told the site rep to sort this guy out.
Anyway around this time the Christmas period ended and we moved into January, also the work started to dry up and lay offs happened. In the first week of January everyone else in that "pep talk" group was laid off and we were regularly sent home after 15 minutes of work (shifts rotated weekly between starting at 6AM or 2PM). On the 17th of January I was called down to the pick desk, the area manager told me when I arrived that I was being taken on as a permanent associate and congratulated me. I was well chuffed, I thought to myself "that's stage one dealt with lets get onto stage two and hopefully get my career back on track". A few hours later I had another message on my gun, with half an hour on the shift to go I was called back to the pick desk. The area manager had gone and all that was there was a team lead and cart runner. The team lead took my gun off me and said I was to wait in the drop zone for everyone else, I asked the cart runner what was happening and he said "your going to see HR." I thought, blimey that's quick, I'm going to be signing the forms and transferred from Quest to Amazon before the end of the shift. Myself and a few others then went up to a room in HR where we met some others from other departments. A HR officer then walked in and informed us we were being laid off as the early months of they year were traditionally quiet and the Christmas peak rush was over.
Needless to say I was pissed off, I informed them I had been told three hours previously I was being made permanent. The HR officer said I must have misunderstood what my area manager had told me, I informed her that I had been using the English language since moving on from baby talk and demanded to make an official complaint about my area manager and for him to be sacked. She said she couldn't do anything and that I should handle this via my Agency, now at this point I should say every other agency bar mine was present and as we were being made to clear our lockers and leave I had no way of getting to the agency desk on the Fulfilment Centre floor. The next day visited the Quest Recruitment Swansea branch, they said they couldn't do anything about my area manager as technically I wasn't an active associate on the Amazon contract anymore, however I did opt to put my name on the rehire list for when things started getting busy on the site.
If you'll indulge me ladies and gentle readers I'm now going to fiddle with the narrative. I would come back later in the year and the area manager not only was still there but had now been made permanent. I was told I couldn't make a formal complaint as six months had gone by. However the area manager (one Andrew Evans) wouldn't last long, it turned out his agency and Amazon hadn't performed a thorough background search on him and out of the blue Amazon would get a call from a newspaper asking about this:
http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/Dodgy-family-firms-preyed-customers/story-16819547-detail/story.html
It turns out that Andrew Evans had neglected to inform his employer that he had been done for fraud. Now I'm often one to give people the benefit of the doubt but I have to ask how a vindictive sicko who had tried to con vulnerable pensioners out of their savings can be put into a supervisory position without a background check being performed. Needless to say many complaints from temps had been made against him but they were all fobbed off. However when finding out about the above court case he was thrown out so fast his feet never touched the ground.
Well that's the story of my first stint with Amazon, I'll cover the rest of my time there at a later date.
Tuesday 2 September 2014
The Big Finish Catch Up: August 2014
For anyone new to this part of the blog, I'm quite a big Doctor Who fan who also listens to the audios produced by Big Finish. I used to listen to them as they were released but over the years I've fallen behind to the extent where a few months ago I realised I was a decade behind. This part of the blog is where I review Big Finish releases (some recent some from yesteryear) that I have recently heard. Anyway last month I listened to...
The 10th Doctors entry into the Destiny of the Doctor range features Catherine Tate reading a story penned by Darren Jones. On a production front Catherine does an excellent job of recreating Donna Noble and does a very good 10th Doctor. However the story she's reading isn't up to much, I've virtually forgotten most of it when I come to write this up, bar from a tense scene with a worm it just isn't up to much. It just isn't an audio book, it feels like it was written for a two disc full cast audio release then edited to death and chopped down for the audio book format. In short in a series that has had some unexpectedly high quality releases this is disappointing.
As I've constantly said this section of the blog is me trying to catch up with Big Finishes releases, however sometimes I'll hear about a release that tempts me to jump ahead. This new box set of Bernice Summerfield stories featuring the virgin new adventures team of the 7th Doctor and Ace is one of them. To round them up to the two hour releases I'm familiar with I listened to "The Revolution" and "Goodnight Sweet Ladies." The first story is one of the best comedies Big Finish have produced with a cracking little plot that had me laughing through the whole thing. The second story is a highly emotional story that shows the dexterity of Benny with a more traditional tale for the archaeologist. At the half way point I highly recommend this box set, there is a running plot that links the stories but thankfully it doesn't dominate the stories.
The Song of the Megaptera is part of the lost story range and a story that was in contention to make it onto the screen during the Colin Baker era. The strength of this range is that it has taken stories that have become legend in fandom and given us some cracking stories of which this is one. This is a fantastic little story and would have been a cracker on TV, although it would have blown the budget. Like "The Revolution" we have a cracking plot, a swift pace and some funny characters. When a lost story works you come away wishing it could have made in on screen as a part of the TV series, theres a picture on the inside of this cover that really makes me wish it could have. In short if you can only afford to buy one or two stories from this range make this one a contender.
The 10th Doctors entry into the Destiny of the Doctor range features Catherine Tate reading a story penned by Darren Jones. On a production front Catherine does an excellent job of recreating Donna Noble and does a very good 10th Doctor. However the story she's reading isn't up to much, I've virtually forgotten most of it when I come to write this up, bar from a tense scene with a worm it just isn't up to much. It just isn't an audio book, it feels like it was written for a two disc full cast audio release then edited to death and chopped down for the audio book format. In short in a series that has had some unexpectedly high quality releases this is disappointing.
As I've constantly said this section of the blog is me trying to catch up with Big Finishes releases, however sometimes I'll hear about a release that tempts me to jump ahead. This new box set of Bernice Summerfield stories featuring the virgin new adventures team of the 7th Doctor and Ace is one of them. To round them up to the two hour releases I'm familiar with I listened to "The Revolution" and "Goodnight Sweet Ladies." The first story is one of the best comedies Big Finish have produced with a cracking little plot that had me laughing through the whole thing. The second story is a highly emotional story that shows the dexterity of Benny with a more traditional tale for the archaeologist. At the half way point I highly recommend this box set, there is a running plot that links the stories but thankfully it doesn't dominate the stories.
The Song of the Megaptera is part of the lost story range and a story that was in contention to make it onto the screen during the Colin Baker era. The strength of this range is that it has taken stories that have become legend in fandom and given us some cracking stories of which this is one. This is a fantastic little story and would have been a cracker on TV, although it would have blown the budget. Like "The Revolution" we have a cracking plot, a swift pace and some funny characters. When a lost story works you come away wishing it could have made in on screen as a part of the TV series, theres a picture on the inside of this cover that really makes me wish it could have. In short if you can only afford to buy one or two stories from this range make this one a contender.
Wednesday 27 August 2014
Debt
Today I wrote the biggest cheque I had written in years, it was to a company called Robinson Way Ltd and was the final payment of a credit card debt that got out of control in early 00's. Over the years I've had this debt I have gone through gaps in employment, periods on benefit yet never missed a payment. Despite that this collections agency and many like it have acted like complete and utter shits. They have made threats to try and make me up monthly payment accounts, bombarded me with phone calls to try and make me pay by direct debit and sent collection agents (who have left with a flea in their ear) to my house despite the fact I have never missed a payment.
My life now goes on without this company anywhere near it, they have been unable to put late payments on my credit file or adversely affect me since the debt became more than 7 years old. Anyone else currently dealing with a collections agency over a debt that got out of control I'd like to say, keep your head, be firm about the amount you can pay, keep the monthly payments up and never give them access to your bank account. But most importantly insist you will only communicate with them via email, there is no place in the modern world for "account executives" sitting in a call centre calling people who are financially struggling to extort more money out of them.
If you get through it trust me, the feeling of relief is immense.
My life now goes on without this company anywhere near it, they have been unable to put late payments on my credit file or adversely affect me since the debt became more than 7 years old. Anyone else currently dealing with a collections agency over a debt that got out of control I'd like to say, keep your head, be firm about the amount you can pay, keep the monthly payments up and never give them access to your bank account. But most importantly insist you will only communicate with them via email, there is no place in the modern world for "account executives" sitting in a call centre calling people who are financially struggling to extort more money out of them.
If you get through it trust me, the feeling of relief is immense.
Tuesday 19 August 2014
TV Preview: The Doctor Who Season Opener
Its another blog exclusive this week as I've managed to get my hands on a preview copy of Peter Capaldi's first full appearance as The Doctor as The Twelveteenth Doctors era begins.
Weird shit is happening big time in this episode, Who fans have long become accustomed to the production team going on about a bold new direction for the show for decades. Occasionally we have had huge changes but by and large the production team rarely change a winning format. Brace yourselves ladies and gentle readers as this time The Moff has thrown the format threw a shredder and come up with something maybe not bolder but more expected.
Things get off to an unexpected start, The Doctor who seems to be suffering from post regenerative trauma decides to take Clara to 1960's Glasgow for an all day piss up as he feels it will take more than tea to get over this regeneration.
We get what can best be described as the deepest most thought provoking monologue from The Doctor since William Hartnells monologue about losing companions. Peter Capaldi slurs his way through extended scenes as he attempted to out drink Big Harry Trowbridge. The most striking change from the recent past is when a drunk tries to attract Clara attention through some uncomfortable means Capaldi greets him with a Glasgow Kiss and the one liner "No hanky-panky on my watch."
After returning to the TARDIS an inebriated Doctor decides to take the TARDIS to 00's Great Britain so he can give David Cameron and Nick Clegg a good shouting at.
I don't want to give to much away but I'll certainly say theres more swearing in the Downing Street scenes than the Aliens of London two parter scenes. Keep your eyes peeled for an original use of the sonic screw driver in these scenes.
After the action things settle down for the rest of the episode which is mostly taken up by what promises to be an ongoing feature in this season "nap time with The Doctor."
We end the episode with The Doctor telling Clara that when he was younger this place was full of giant size pepper pots and telling her everything that her generation has done wrong. We end with The Doctor turning to the camera and telling the viewer not to worry because he's going to beat up some Dalek's and Cybermen next week.
All things considered this is a rather unexpected direction for the show to take but in this bloggers opinion first episodes aren't the best way to judge an era. Lets enjoy the rest of the season and see what happens...
Weird shit is happening big time in this episode, Who fans have long become accustomed to the production team going on about a bold new direction for the show for decades. Occasionally we have had huge changes but by and large the production team rarely change a winning format. Brace yourselves ladies and gentle readers as this time The Moff has thrown the format threw a shredder and come up with something maybe not bolder but more expected.
Things get off to an unexpected start, The Doctor who seems to be suffering from post regenerative trauma decides to take Clara to 1960's Glasgow for an all day piss up as he feels it will take more than tea to get over this regeneration.
We get what can best be described as the deepest most thought provoking monologue from The Doctor since William Hartnells monologue about losing companions. Peter Capaldi slurs his way through extended scenes as he attempted to out drink Big Harry Trowbridge. The most striking change from the recent past is when a drunk tries to attract Clara attention through some uncomfortable means Capaldi greets him with a Glasgow Kiss and the one liner "No hanky-panky on my watch."
After returning to the TARDIS an inebriated Doctor decides to take the TARDIS to 00's Great Britain so he can give David Cameron and Nick Clegg a good shouting at.
I don't want to give to much away but I'll certainly say theres more swearing in the Downing Street scenes than the Aliens of London two parter scenes. Keep your eyes peeled for an original use of the sonic screw driver in these scenes.
After the action things settle down for the rest of the episode which is mostly taken up by what promises to be an ongoing feature in this season "nap time with The Doctor."
We end the episode with The Doctor telling Clara that when he was younger this place was full of giant size pepper pots and telling her everything that her generation has done wrong. We end with The Doctor turning to the camera and telling the viewer not to worry because he's going to beat up some Dalek's and Cybermen next week.
All things considered this is a rather unexpected direction for the show to take but in this bloggers opinion first episodes aren't the best way to judge an era. Lets enjoy the rest of the season and see what happens...
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